3 Years Later, Still Living Happily Ever After
Wow. Three years have come and gone in a blink of an eye. This is now the second greatest day of our life, following the birth of Thea just a few months ago. And although the details of our actual wedding day didn’t go exactly according to plan — when do they ever?! — it was still one of the greatest days — moments — of our life.
Wow. Three years have come and gone in a blink of an eye. This is now the second greatest day of our life, following the birth of Thea just a few months ago. And although the details of our actual wedding day didn’t go exactly according to plan — when do they ever?! — it was still one of the greatest days — moments — of our life.
We were married at our temple, Malibu Jewish Center & Synagogue (MJC&S), in Malibu by our Rabbi and Cantor (the same Cantor who was at our home birth and played his guitar as Thea quite literally made her way into this world). It had been an especially rainy winter and spring, much like the one we are experiencing this year in Los Angeles. In fact, it had rained 6 days prior to our wedding day, which we took to be a good luck sign. Lucky for us, the hills and grounds of our temple were full of green lush grass, the mountains in full color.
Much like we the rest of our lives, we had the best village surrounding us, putting together this epic day. We share our video with you as a reminder and break from the every day, mundane news, and as a source of hope, love, inspiration, togetherness, and family.
Our Vows
We actually got this idea from a friend of ours. For our vows, we each wrote 5 promises to each other — the only one we agreed to prior to the ceremony was ending each of our promises with same vow, “I promise to always choose you.” The rest of our vows were complete surprises to each other, and during the ceremony, we took turns reading our vows, one after the other (instead of the traditional one person after the other).
Sydney: I promise to love you forever and always, knowing you to be your best self, even when you don't see it.
Brit: I promise to be your best friend and to always listen for your commitment.
Sydney: I promise to tell you I love every morning when we wake up and before we go to sleep; to always go to bed happy and complete; and to seal each and every day with a kiss.
Brit: I promise to always know where we are or how to get to where we're going....and if not, to be the one to ask for directions.
Sydney: I promise to take turns being the little spoon and the big spoon...but mainly the little spoon.
Brit: I promise to build a Jewish home with you, teach our children where they come from and to always give when we have the means to do so.
Sydney: I promise our children will grow up in a home where they know how much their parents are in love and they know how much they are loved.
Brit: I promise to hold your hand and take you on adventures of a lifetime.
Sydney: I promise to always choose you.
Brit: I promise to always choose you.
Our Village:
Videographers: Light Up Video | Dresses: Pebbles Bridal and Winnie Couture | Flowers, Chuppah and Decor: The Exotic Green Garden | Jewelry: Sarah Leonard Jewelers and Nordstrom | Hair: Aubrey Loots Hair | Makeup: J. The MakeUp Studio | Photographer: Laurie Bailey Photography
Want to see some more? (‘Cause why wouldn’t you?) Click here to see our wedding photos.
Traveling with A Newborn
Well, here we are, our first adventure involving more than a long, 6 hour car ride up tot Mammoth. This is our first trip with Thea, whose all of 15 weeks old, and we are headed to Portland. Why Portland? Why now?
Friday, March 15
10:40 am
Well, here we are, our first adventure involving more than a long, 6 hour car ride up to Mammoth. This is our first trip with Thea, whose all of 15 weeks old, and we are headed to Portland. Why Portland? Why now?
Well, this month marks Brit and my 3 year wedding anniversary. Yay! The two of us have also wanted to take the Coast Starlight Train, a long-haul passenger train, sleeper cabin and all, from Los Angeles up north. We figured this would be the perfect opportunity to put those two things together. So we are taking the train up (29 hours) and flying back (a short 2 hour flight).
What’s more, my mom’s birthday is in a few days, so we figured that including my parents on our traveling adventures to celebrate her birthday and our anniversary would make traveling with our 3 month old a whole lot easier and have us feel a bit more comfortable when we fly for the first time with Thea.
Since we have another vacation coming up in May that is going to involve longer air travel sans the grandparents, we figured this was a good way to introduce us two new mamas to travel with a newborn.
So thank goodness for that idea. Brit and I are already exhausted, and I am writing this blog after departing the train station just 30 minutes ago. Pathetic, right? Well. I have already learned a lot, starting with that we all need to be packed days before we travel. Waiting until the night before — part of our routine pre baby — is no longer sufficient. There are simply too many things to juggle. Tip #2? Start by packing the necessities — you know, like diapers and wipes. As we pulled into the train station, Brit noticed that we had forgotten baby wipes. Oh joy!
5:30 pm
We have new developments on the traveling front, re: clothing. This is an important one, and thankfully, we are traveling during a wetter and colder winter (for us SoCal girls). Regardless if you are visiting the snow or the beach, via car, train, or plane, you should always pack an array of outfits for both warmer and cooler weather. Aside from just being prepared, here is what I learned and saw value in today.
While aboard our train today, we noticed a few hours in that our car wasn’t getting cool. At first we thought this was as good as it got. But when we went to the dining car for lunch, we noticed how much cooler it was in every other car aside from ours. Welp, that explained Thea’s fussiness. She wasn’t even in anything too warm, but we knew it’s been chilly out and would be even colder in Portland. She started out the morning in a long sleeve bodysuit, leggings, a fleece jacket, and fleece booties. After boarding the train, when it was still off, I took the booties off since it was so hot. When she woke from that nap, off came the jacket. After lunch, all that remained was a diaper. She was instantly happier, despite being hot and sweaty from the lack of A/C.
We also had some foresight early this morning, our eyes barely opened, that we should grab two blankets; one fleece and one cotton muslin, just in case. Moral of this tip? Those ‘just in case’ instances are likely to happen more than not when traveling + and with a child. The baby is now happily fast asleep in her DockATot, diaper and all.
Saturday, March 16
2:10 pm
Today was definitely less eventful, after all, we’ve been traveling with our Little One for nearly 24 hours now, so we’re pro! (JK.) What made this day different was cabin fever. We were all getting close to being pushed to our limits. The sleeper rooms, although considered ‘first class’ were maybe 64 sq. ft. in size; the hallways to pass from car to car made us all walk sideways like crabs; the food, although surprisingly edible and okay, was repetitive; and the loud speakers didn’t help with nap time.
I am only 10 days post op from my gallbladder surgery, which means Brit has been on super mommy mode. She has been taking care of Thea, Chloe (our puppy), me, and herself. To say she was/is exhausted would be a gross understatement. Then to add some leisurely travel in there while we are all squished like sardines, was the cherry on top. She has truly been my hero throughout all of this. So needless to say, we both took turns entertaining Thea, each in our own ways.
4:30 pm
To say we were happy to arrive in Portland, would have been a gross understatement. Especially since our train was behind schedule by just over an hour. It through us all for a loop. But checking in to our hotel, one of two 5-star hotels in all of Downtown Portland according to TripAdvisor, made us all feel a little bit like Eloise, checking into the top floor of the Plaza Hotel.
It was clean. It was spacious. It was luxurious. It had a shower. The bed was big enough for us all. It was exactly what we all needed after the last 30 hours of being on a train.
Sunday, March 17
A Year Ago Today: My Journey with IUI
A year ago today my mom took me to my fertility doctor for what would become the day (or close to) I became pregnant. March 12, 2018 was my insemination day.
A year ago today my mom took me to my fertility doctor for what would become the day (or close to) I became pregnant. March 12, 2018 was my insemination day. Brit and I had spent weeks gearing up for this first try with doctor visits, uterine exams, taking Clomid and a shot of HCG, peeing on sticks, the works…
At the time, it didn’t feel all that real. I was just going through the motions that my doctor had given me. I went to my first appointment when I was on Day 4 of my menstrual cycle so my doctor can perform an exam to ensure everything looked good. From there, I would have another 4 check up appoints to track my eggs growth, take Clomid (an oral medication that is used to stimulate ovulation), pee on 7 ovulation test strips, pick up the vial of sperm from the Cryobank, and be given an injection of HCG (a hormone that supports the normal development of an egg in a woman's ovary, and stimulates the release of the egg during ovulation). All of this occurred within 13 days.
On day 12 of this journey, I was given the HCG shot. As mentioned, this is supposed to help ensure the release of my egg during ovulation, which means that within 24 hours of the shot, I would need to be inseminated. Brit had come with me to every single appointment. And as a side note, our doctor was about an hour away from where we lived — that’s 2 hours in the car, there and back, for a 30 minute check up. So when it was time to take the shot, I knew I would have to go back in the next day. Brit had already put so many things on hold, and I think we both thought it wouldn’t really work the first time anyways, that we were both comfortable and okay with my mom taking me to my insemination appointment. So that night, after my shot, Brit and I went home and had a romantic evening with each other, wine and all.
The morning of March 12th had arrived. I was jittery and anxious — two things every fertility doctor and OBGYN tell you not be when trying to conceive). I did what I could to self soothe. Lots and lots of deep breaths. My mom picked me up from my condo and drove me to my appointment. As we waited in the waiting room to be seen, I counted 40 weeks from my first day of my last period (which was about 2 weeks prior). December 1st. I told my mom it had to work. If the insemination was unsuccessful and I had to wait another cycle, my due date would have been during Christmas / New Years, and my parents had already planned their winter trip — one that I knew they would obviously cancel for the birth of their first grandchild, but I like to be accommodating.
“Sydney,” a nurse said at the door separating the waiting to the rest of the medical offices. My mom and I took a deep breath, gathered our belongings, and headed back. “Take your pants and underwear off and put this blanket over you. The doctor will be with you shortly.” As I lay half naked on the medical table, waiting, all I could hear was my heartbeat. I didn’t know what to think. It felt like hours had passed until the doctor finally came in. In reality? It was 5, maybe 10 minutes, tops. He shook my moms hands, he asked me how I was feeling, and then said, “It’s time.”
The actual IUI procedure (intrauterine insemination) was easy and painless. The doctor inserts a teeny tiny flexible syringe-like tool through my cervix and releases the sperm. That’s it. Done. There is no lying on my back with my feet above my head for 30 minutes. There is no sitting period. After he was done, I got dressed, paid for the services, and went out to dinner with my mom. During dinner I began to feel some light cramping. This was normal. Not comfortable or reassuring, but normal.
The next set of instructions I was given before I had left the doctors office was to NOT take a pregnancy test. Pregnancy tests are not 100% guarantee and they didn’t want me to experience a false positive. That’s the type of stress that should be kept at bay. Instead, I was suppose to carry on with my days, as worry-free as possible, until 16 days post IUI. On day 15, March 27th, I called the doctor’s office. “Hi, it’s Sydney. I was just inseminated a couple of weeks ago and was told to call if ‘IT’ hasn’t arrived. I know I probably sound crazy, but I don’t want to say ‘IT’ in case ‘IT’ does come. I don’t want to jinx myself. Anyways, tomorrow is day 16 and I haven’t taken a pregnancy test.” The woman at the other end of the phone laughed (in a sympathetic, I know what you are going through kind of way) and reassured me. “Of course, Sydney. Let’s have you come in tomorrow.”
March 28, 2018. A day I will never forget. I went to the doctor’s alone. I told Brit that it was silly for her to miss work when this particular appointment was just for a blood draw. I wouldn’t hear anything about my results for at least a day. I had fibbed. I knew I would hear back that same day, but felt like I needed to do this part on my own. I went in, they drew my blood, they wished me luck, and told me that one of the nurses or the doctor would call when the results were in. The best way to know if you’re pregnant is through a blood test. It’s taken 16 days past ovulation, or for me, after my IUI. Once those results are in, if HCG levels are high, odds are, you’re pregnant. To confirm, the same blood test is done two days later. If the levels have at least doubled, a pregnancy is confirmed.
After my blood draw, I went home, cuddled with my puppy and watched TV. Hours went by. The phone rang. It was the doctors office. At the other end of the line, I heard my doctor’s voice. I had made up that if one of the nurses called, it meant I was pregnant, as they wouldn’t have the nurse call with bad news. So if the doctor called, he’d be the one to break the news softly. “Congratulations, Sydney. You’re pregnant.” I just about passed out. I can’t tell you, to this day, what he said after that. We allegedly spoke for 3 minutes, but I don’t remember what he said. By the end of the call I had made a follow up appointment for 48 hours later to ensure that my numbers doubled. SPOILER ALERT. They did!
This process took about a month. From getting my period to my first check up with the doctor, from medications and an injection, to that actual insemination and confirmation, it had taken 33 days from start to finish, and it ended in a healthy, beautiful, wonderful baby girl. But we will get into my pregnancy, who and how we told our family and friends in another post. For now, this post, I want preserved for that moment in time when Brit and I conceived.
Our journey is blessed and special. We were fortunate and lucky enough to have the best support team, both medically and with our family, and to have been successful on one try. Even now, with Thea being here, with us, this all still feels like a dream.
6 New Siblings in Less Than a Year
Yep. You read that right. In the last 10 months, I discovered that I have 6 new siblings (and probably counting). I should start from the beginning…
Yep. You read that right. In the last 10 months, I discovered that I have 6 new siblings (and probably counting). I should start from the beginning…
The weekend Brit and I shared our news about being pregnant was Mother’s Day weekend in 2018. It seemed fitting considering the following year, Brit and I would both be new mommies. Meanwhile, my dad had done a DNA testing kit through 23andMe.com to find out more about where his family had come from. What he found was anything but ordinary. His DNA told him what he already knew — he’s an Ashkenazi Jew from Eastern Europe. After that, he turned off his alert settings as he was being notified every other day on a new relative connection that was 4 times removed. We’re Jewish after all, so we’re always related and connected to someone.
What we didn’t know? My dad had been a sperm donor nearly 35 years prior while in med school. My parents were dating at the time, so my mom knew, and somewhere in the back of their heads, I guess considered that one day “bio kids” may be out there. But considering this was done back in the early 80s, the idea of technology, social media, and DNA kits like 23andMe or Ancestry.com were unheard of.
That very same weekend my dad received a phone call from my aunt. “Sit down,” she said. “I think you have another son…” After catching his breath, he logged back into his 23andMe account, and sure enough, under DNA Relatives, were two perfect matches, indicating a son and daughter. After speaking with them both, he learned there was another daughter (she had done Ancestry.com and connected with a sister there).
Anyways, to make a long, twisting, complicated, fun, surprising, awesome story sweet and short, we slowly started to discover what my parents refer to as their “bio kids.” There wasn’t even a split moment where my mom, brothers, wife, or I thought about not including them and integrating them into our lives. For whatever reason, we already loved them. We wanted to get to know them. We wanted that instant bond and connection.
Personally, I have lost track of how many times I had begged my parents for an older brother or sister. Perhaps I willed them all into existence? Whatever the reason, we were so excited. Then to add an even juicier and yummier layer, Brit pointed out that our soon-to-be daughter would be born into a family with Aunts and Uncles just like her. Being a sperm donor baby was how our family grew. It wouldn’t be strange or foreign. It would just be normal. And for those potential tough days that may lie ahead for her, she has that extra comfort of confiding in her Aunts and Uncles.
Fast forward to yesterday, and I mean yesterday, the latest “newly found sibling” or “bio sib” (that’s what all us kiddos call each other) surfaced. And just to tally it all up, I now have 4 brothers and 4 sisters (and 3 adorable, sweet, and smart neices).
To date, half of us have all met in person. By the end of summer, I will have met all in person. How cool is that? In fact, during my family’s annual 4th of July trip to Zion National Park, most of the newly found sibs are trekking out there for us all to spend the week together. Although not everyone can make it, it’s pretty spectacular that most can. Talk about a family reunion!!
We’d love the chance for us all to be under the same roof at the same time, so if anyone has any connections to Ellen Degeneres, let her know that we’d love to all meet her and each other. She’d be one helluva host.
Being Gay and Jewish
Before I was gay, I was Jewish. And when I realized I was gay, I thought I had to choose between being Jewish and being gay.
Before I was gay, I was Jewish.
I have always loved being Jewish and personally felt like I had a special relationship with “God.” I never really thought of God as a man or a woman, just a voice in my head that I could talk to when I needed someone. A force out there that encouraged me to make the right choices.
When I realized I was gay, I thought I had to choose between being Jewish and being gay. I was raised in the Chabad sect of Judaism — for unfamiliar readers, it’s an orthodox sect — and you weren’t “allowed” to be gay in Chabad. And as a child, I didn’t know there were other forms of Judaism. So I was faced with quite a conflict.
When I came out to myself, I left the synagogue I had grown up in and joined the neighboring Reformed synagogue — literally across the street — where I knew some kids from high school went.
After high school I moved to Israel and that was when I saw what being gay and Jewish really looked like. Tel Aviv is continuously ranked the gayest city in the world, and while living there, I was able to meet new people, explore my religion, and realize exactly who I was. For the first time in my life I wasn’t under the watchful eye of my parents and I had the opportunity to be an out-of-the-closet version of myself. I was never in the closet again and I fell deeper in love with being Jewish while living in Israel.
Now, at 29, I find myself living my most authentic life. I’m happily married to my wife —who is also Jewish and began dating while living in Israel. And, we joyously welcomed our first child into the world only two months ago, making me feel even more connected to my religion than ever.
My wife Sydney and I are members of a Reconstructionist synagogue in Malibu, Malibu Jewish Center and Synagogue (MJC&S), which, for the first 9 years of our relationship, was led by our female rabbi, our gay cantor, and with members from all parts of the LGBT family. It’s where we were married and where we plan on raising our family. One of our favorite things about MJC&S are the Shabbat on the Beach events during the summer.
I’m also involved in a organization called JQ International, that fosters gay and Jewish identities so people never feel like they need to choose between their religion and being gay. Some of my favorite things JQ International offers are Shebrew Shabbats, Pride Shabbats (which kicks off Pride month), and an overall opportunity to connect and build friendships with other gay Jews in Los Angeles.
Had someone told me 10 years ago this would be my life, I would have never believed them.
Our Birthing Video
The best choice we had made while I was pregnant was finding the way to save and budget to hire a birthing photographer and videographer. Lucky for us, we found Rebecca who really does it all.
The best choice we had made while I was pregnant was finding the way to save and budget to hire a birthing photographer and videographer. Lucky for us, we found Rebecca who really does it all. She is a one woman show who is able to take photos and videos on her camera and is also certified as a doula, something we found to be invaluable. To top it all off, our parents gifted us half of her services, allowing us to actually make this dream happen.
There is only so much you can possibly remember when looking back on your birthing journey — partner, parents, midwives included. But having it captured in a video really gives you a birds eye view on what happened, how it happened, and shares the story so deeply and intimately.
My mom was my doula and birthing coach. She has been gearing me up for my labor since I was a baby, teaching me to self soothe and find my “place” for deep relaxation. For me? It’s the 100-Acre Woods, laying in a field with Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. My mom also happens to be trained in a childbirth education program, The Bradley Method. Bradley really focuses on natural births through deep relaxation — a perfect fit for us! Needless to say, I couldn’t have asked for a better coach — someone whose known me since I was in utero, who loves me unconditionally, and knows my temperament inside and out.
Here is my birthing story, as told through the lens of Rebecca.
Our Labor and Delivery Shoot
It may seem obvious, but we’d like you to be forewarned that this post contains explicit images of birth. This means you will see nudity, from head to toe, stretch marks, placenta and all.
It may seem obvious, but we’d like you to be forewarned that this post contains explicit images of birth. This means you will see nudity, from head to toe, stretch marks, placenta and all.
I am proud of what my body accomplished. It served as our baby girl’s first home, as she grew from the size of a poppy seed to that of a watermelon. The day of her birth came and went so quickly. Thea and I worked together, as I used each contraction as a reminder that we were that much closer to meeting, and as she descended quickly and vigorously, knowing she too, would be meeting us soon.
If you read our previous post, you will know that we had over a dozen people in our home as I labored, pushed, and welcomed Thea into this world. We were surrounded by family and friends, warmth and song.
The greatest gift Brit and I gave each other going into our birth plan was having it captured. Receiving the photos 3 months later has proved to be an even greater gift as it’s the perfect walk down memory lane. I was so focused that I couldn’t have known what else was going on around me.
And for those of you in the Los Angeles area, whether you’re planning to deliver at home, birthing center, or hospital, please consider Rebecca Coursey — there is no other woman greater. She’s not only a photographer and videographer, but a doula. Having her energy, spirit, talent, and warmth is a gift that is indescribable.
As we anxiously await our video, we are so excited and happy to share the photos that were captured by Rebecca.
Our Baby Shower
We had such an amazingly beautiful baby shower and it may have been one of the most Pinterest-worthy events I had been to.
We had such an amazingly beautiful baby shower. Our only job was to show up. which is our favorite kind of party! We did our best to keep it intimate and small, only inviting our family and closest friends (and in our case, that means hosting over 50 people) . It took place in my parents backyard — my #1 favorite spot to host events — and was picture perfect.
The day itself was perfect. It was sunny without being too hot, a huge plus for when your 32 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I woke up that day not feeling well. To this day, I 100% believe I wasn’t feeling too hot because of how overwhelmed I was with emotions. Something about making it to the baby shower signified a milestone in my head that had me feel extra connected to my baby and solidified me becoming a ‘mommy.’
We played some awesome games (yes, we are THOSE kinds of people), ate some amazing tacos, and were treated to some seriously kick ass desserts. In short and in long, it was a memorable, emotional, beautiful day.
It may have been one of the most Pinterest-worthy events I had been to, so we of course want to share it all with you. And thanks to our amazing family and friends, we were able to capture the essence of what was our baby shower.
Our Maternity Shoot
Like most pregnant couples, Brit and I wanted to document our pregnancy in as many ways possible. From iPhone shots to professional shoots, I wanted it all, and Brit was more than happy to oblige.
Like most pregnant couples, Brit and I wanted to document our pregnancy in as many ways possible. From iPhone shots to professional shoots, I wanted it all, and Brit was more than happy to oblige. As for choosing our photographer? That, luckily, was also a no brainer, as I had stumbled across Breezy Ann Photography nearly two years prior to even being pregnant. I knew she was the one. And she more than delivered. We booked her for our maternity shoot and newborn shoot, and I am already looking forward to having her shoot Thea’s cake smash for her 1 year birthday!
My Birth Story
Home birth. Natural and unmedicated. 13 people in attendance. 6 hours and 45 minutes. 7 pounds, 9 ounces. 20.25 inches long. 10 finger and 10 toes. Welcome to the world Thea Madison Quinn.
December 1st began like any other day. Granted this was the estimated due date all my doctors gave me, so I was a bit more excited that I had reached a full 40 weeks. Otherwise, my mom had gone to her annual eye doctor appointment and my dad and Brit (my wife) left for the office for their monthly philanthropic clinic.
I had woken up around 8 am with the family to see them off. Once they had left I went back to bed. Being 40 weeks pregnant, getting crappy sleep, and the pending arrival of our baby girl looming, I was exhausted. Around 11:30 am I woke up suddenly with an immediate urge to poop — to the extent that I thought if I didn’t run to the bathroom, I’d have an accident in bed. So I made my way to the bathroom, peed, and went back to bed. Minutes later I woke up again. “Wait! I am 29 years old. I won’t poop my pants. That’s ridiculous.”
At this point, I texted one of my friends who had just given birth 8 weeks prior. “What do contractions feel like?” After a quick texting conversation, I decided I was in early labor. These contractions were barely lasting 30 seconds and were happening sporadically, anywhere from 10 minutes apart to 20 minutes apart. By the time it was 1 pm, I decided it was time to call my mom. I didn’t want to bother her earlier as I knew her appointment would be over soon anyways, and I definitely didn’t want to bother my wife because I didn’t want her to panic that I was home alone.
“I think it’s time. I think I’m in labor.”
Within an hour, my wife, mom, aunt, and mother-in-law were all back at home with me. It was all very exciting and equally nerve-racking. Leading up to their arrivals, I had taken a nap, eaten a PB&J sandwich, noshed on a red bell pepper, and was found doing a puzzle while watching TV. After all that, my next job was to go for a walk around the neighborhood and see if my contractions would pick up. So I went with my wife and mother-in-law for a walk. By the time we circled back around, my contractions were lasting about 45 seconds and were happening every 9 minutes. It was 2 pm. And I was officially in active labor.
By 3:30 (ish) I was desperate to be in water. Our birthing tub hadn’t yet been set up so into the jacuzzi I went, butt naked, with my mom. By this point, my dad and another aunt had shown up. While talking in between contractions and relaxing during them, Brit had decided to call our midwife, Leslie, just to inform her that I was in labor (even though she had told us to only call her when my contractions were 4 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute). And sure enough, Leslie thanked us for calling but told us it was still soon. Right before Brit hung up, my contractions changed again. “Oh! Wait. Her contractions are 6 minutes apart now lasting over a minute,” Brit told Leslie.
Leslie asked where I was feeling my contractions. I felt everything in my lower back and was having tremendous rectal pressure. That was all it took. Leslie hung up her end of the line and drove like crazy to get to our home. When the phone call ended, we noticed the water in the hot tub became murky. My water had broken. It was time to move to another location to continue my labor. So into my parents bed I went. It wasn’t planned that way. But in the moment, all I wanted was to feel safe, and there is no place greater than my parents bed.
So my caravan of a team helped me out of the water, dried me off, and walked me upstairs. By this point our dear family friend and shiatsu massage therapist, Steve, and our photographer/videographer, Rebecca, had arrived. During our birthing classes, we had learned about back labor. My mom had it with all three of us kids and the best solution is counter pressure. When I had initially asked Steve to be apart of my birth team, he was more than willing and happy to be my counter pressure expert. And thank goodness for that. Between my back labor and rectal pressure, I needed every ounce of natural relief I could get. Steve’s job was to apply as much pressure as possible to my lower back, while my mom’s job was to make sure I stayed relaxed through deep breathing and guided imagery.
I labored on the bed. And on the toilet. And on a yoga ball. My contractions were on top of each other lasting 1 minute and 40 seconds. I threw up. I was freezing. I had started moaning, or what was later described to me as my birthing song. I was in transition. And still no midwife. I could feel it in my bones — I knew I was close.
By 7 pm, Leslie had shown up. She came right upstairs and began examining the baby’s heartbeat, my vitals, and eventually, checked to see how dilated I was. 9 centimeters. I was already at 9 centimeters. She asked me if I wanted to push. “YES!”
The birthing tub was set up in our living room. An appropriate room to bring more life into. Those in attendance? My wife. My parents. My in-laws. 3 of my aunts and 1 cousin. My midwife and her assistant. My photographer/videographer. My massage therapist. My cantor.
Knowing my contractions were happening so close to each other, I had to figure out the timing on moving from the bed upstairs to the birthing tub downstairs. I made it down and was in the water by 7:20. The water was warm. Brit held onto me with all her love and might. And my contractions finally started to shift to pushing contractions. They felt so good. I was finally able to do something … push! I kept changing my position in the tub to try and find my rhythm, but after 30 minutes, I didn’t feel like I was making any progress with getting the baby down and out. The water was too high and thus, gravity was working against me.
At around 8 pm, my mom suggested to me that I try laboring and pushing outside of the tub. At this point I wanted the baby out more than I wanted a water birth. So I went out of the tub and onto the couch. My team had propped me on my side with pillows and helping hands. My mom stroked my head and continued coaching me through my pushing while my dad held onto my mom. Brit held my right leg and right hand while showering me with love as her mom held her hand. One of my aunts held my left leg to give me something to push against. My cantor played guitar while I pushed and pushed and pushed. My midwife was in the end zone.
The room was dark and warm. The fire place was going. The twinkle lights were on. My family gathered around me and sang songs as our little girls headed began to bulge. My midwife coached me on how to push and when to push. Brit told me the head was out and encouraged me to reach down and touch her head. I did. It gave me the extra focus I needed. The next thing I hear are the shoulders are out. Everyone is encouraging me to reach down and pull my baby out. I did.
It was 8:46 pm on December 1st. And just like that our baby girl was born. On her due date. In the comfort and warmth of our home. Surrounded by family.
There she was, in all her glory. She was perfect. She laid on my body as I rubbed in her vernix while we waited for her umbilical cord to stop pulsing.
Thea Madison Quinn came into this world fast and furious. 7 pounds 9 ounces. 20.25 inches long. 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Our Newborn Shoot
Sydney had found and fallen in love with Breezy Ann Photography (BAP) nearly two years ago and was set on Anna (the magician behind BAP) one day doing our maternity shoot and newborn shoot.
Sydney had found and fallen in love with Breezy Ann Photography (BAP) nearly two years ago. And for those of you doing math, yes, this was before we were pregnant — before we had even begun the process of getting pregnant. Sydney was set on Anna (the magician behind BAP) one day doing our maternity shoot and newborn shoot.
Fast forward to finding out we were indeed expecting, and Sydney booked Anna when she was just 13 weeks pregnant. Well, the months came and went, the maternity shoot was nothing short of beautiful, artistic, and intimate, and Thea’s birth day was celebrated. It was go time!
Now for those of you expecting your first, having a newborn shoot sounds picturesque. All the photos we have seen look serene and picture-perfect. What we didn’t know — or really understand — until we were in the shoes, was that a newborn shoot happens as close to the birth as possible. Why? It’s when the babes sleep the most, allowing the photographer the most leeway into creating all sorts of cute and ridiculous poses. What else does that mean? In the midst and height of sleep deprivation, new parents need to face what will most likely be their first outing … to a photoshoot … where they too will be photographed in all their glory.
Luckily for us, Anna is a warm, caring, thoughtful, creative, loving, gentle, genius photographer. We both felt right at home and captured the beginning moments of our new little family. Here’s a look at some of the awesome images captured…
Still Not Convinced
When I found out I was pregnant, I was in complete disbelief. We had done one IUI using one frozen-then-thawed sperm vile. How could it happen in one shot?
When I found out I was pregnant, I was in complete disbelief. We had done one IUI (intrauterine insemination) using one frozen-then-thawed sperm vile purchased from the California CryoBank. How could it happen in one shot? I mean, yes, it is exactly what we wanted. And yes, it was a day I had been dreaming about since I was about 3 years old. And yes, it would be the most miraculous of miracles for us to get pregnant on the first try and be able to actually save our money for the baby (versus spending the money on trying to start our family).
Nonetheless, I was in complete disbelief. In fact, today I am 5 weeks, 4 days pregnant and I still don't believe it. Every day I experience mild cramping, similar to the cramping I get prior to leading up to my periods. Granted, this type of cramping is also normal with pregnancy as the uterus has to grow and expand, this whole pregnancy phenomena still has me unsure. Every time I need to pee, I hold my breathe in anticipation, half expecting to see I have started my period. I am 11 days late and still I am anxious.
I think at this point, I am most fearful of miscarrying. I have only been officially pregnant for one week and losing this pregnancy would in fact be utterly heartbreaking.
How have/are you handling being pregnant during your first few weeks? Comment below!
How We Told Our Family
We found we were pregnant on Wednesday. Two days later was the first night of Passover and my parents were hosting.
We found we were pregnant on Wednesday, March 28th. Two days later, after our second hCG blood draw going really well, the doctor felt strongly about this being a healthy and viable pregnancy. Well, that same day was the first night of Passover and my parents were hosting.
The house smelled incredible, we had a beautiful white tent with fairy lights in the backyard set up, and my family sitting all around it. Not only was it the first night of Passover, it was also Shabbat. One of our family traditions during Shabbat is to go around the table share what you are grateful for. It's my most favorite time of the week.
I also should warn you that my family is not like most families. We are a family of listeners. We share, talk, emote, love, all with open arms. It's not unusual for one person to share a piece of news and by the time they hang up the phone the rest of the family knows. It's just how we work.
I felt like news like this should be shared in person and would need to be done in one foul swoop. I also know that there are a lot of superstitions about waiting until you're out of the first trimester to share the news. Here is our thinking...
Whether good, bad, or sad ensues during the first trimester, having a support system to celebrate the good and carry you during the bad is so important for us. We don't want to keep such happy news from our community and on the other hand, we want and will need them in case of a miscarriage. We also believe that there is so much taboo about the M word. Not to take away from the heartbreak, sadness, anger, and fear you can experience with a miscarriage, it's also important to know the facts. Approximately 15% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage and 80% of miscarriages occur in the first trimester.
So we felt like the time to share was then and there. Just a mere one month pregnant, we ripped the band-aid off and shared the news.
When, how and with whom did you share the news? Comment below!
To Progesterone or Not To Progesterone
Do I need progesterone? What are the benefits and risks to taking progesterone and not taking progesterone? These are the questions I have.
Do I need progesterone? What are the benefits and risks to taking progesterone and not taking progesterone? These are the questions I have.
First, let's discuss what progesterone is and what it provides during a pregnancy. Progesterone is made early in pregnancy until about 10 weeks. One of progesterone's most important functions is its role in thickening the lining of the uterus each month such that it can nourish and care for the fertilized egg.
Second, let's talk about why and how I knew to ask about using a progesterone supplement. When I was first diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) in May 2013 I was asked during that same appointment if I was ever planning on becoming pregnant. I was advised then, 5 years ago, that when I do become pregnant, it may be beneficial to also be on a progesterone supplement during my first trimester, due to PCOS and the imbalance of hormones my body suffers from.
Now, we are at present day. Today I had my second hCG blood draw. With my first one, two days ago, and 16 days post insemination/ovulation, my hCG was at a 272. Today's reading, which needed to approximately double to show that my pregnancy was on the right track, came in at 629. Yay! Great news, right? Well, with the foresight from that PCOS diagnosis 5 years ago, I had also asked my doctor to run a progesterone panel. My progesterone level came back at a 10.1. What does that mean?
An average progesterone level should be between 6 and 20 but above 20 is preferred while pregnant. It's also important to note that progesterone levels lower later in the day and also lower if blood is drawn not during a fast. My blood draw was taken in the late morning and I had no fasted. So I was left with a choice to make -- to progesterone or not to progesterone? My fertility specialist, OB/GYN, and endocrinologist all said the same thing. There is no risk to taking it and there could be a risk to not taking it if my progesterone levels fall. There is really no guarantee one way or the other. So with no risk to my health or the babies, I decided to take it.
Progesterone comes in many forms: vaginal gel suppository, pill/capsule, and injection. My doctor and I both decided that the vaginal gel suppository would be best as it offers a lower amount of side effects. He also wanted me to try it for a week first to make sure that those side effects. And so, that is how we came up with the answer to this important and perhaps not very talked about question.
We're Pregnant
Writing these words, with tears coming down my face, I am not sure how to process the last 3 minutes of my life.
Writing these words, with tears coming down my face, I am not sure how to process the last 3 minutes of my life.
My cell phone rang at 4:42 pm from 'No Caller ID' -- it was my doctor. "Well, Sydney, it worked. Congratulations. You're pregnant and your hCG levels look great."
I didn't know what to say. I have wanted this to be real, for this to work on the first try, for it to be effortless. And as of right now, it's been all of that.
All the is running through my mind right now is figuring out how to tell Brit....and my mom....and my dad...and my brothers...and my friends....But I also want to keep taking this journey step by step, one day at a time.
I couldn't have asked for better news, and I want to wait until I hear the baby's heartbeat to tell people.
My heart is racing. My body is shaking. This. Is. Happening.
Pregnancy Blood Test
The first two weeks after my insemination flew by. I was busy and kept busy. In a blink of an eye, 14 days came and went.
The first two weeks after my insemination flew by. I was busy and kept busy. In a blink of an eye, 14 days came and went.
But then day 14 hit. Monday, March 26th. Not only is March 26th my wedding anniversary (just celebrated year #2), it's also my second day being late. The doctor had told me initially that if I don't get my period and it's been 16 days post-insemination that I should go in for a blood draw to find out if I was pregnant.
Well, I made it to today with no period (yet) and just got back from seeing my doctor and giving my blood. Now I wait. They said they should get back to me by the end of the day but it could take until tomorrow morning.
If I thought the last couple of days was bad...this is worse! Fingers crossed! 🤞🏻
2018 — The Year We Are Starting Our Family
It's been seven months since we've updated this blog. Not a strong start to this whole "journal our story" shpiel we want, but nonetheless, we are back.
It's been seven months since we've updated this blog. Not a strong start to this whole "journal our story" shpiel we want, but nonetheless, we are back.
So to catch you up, back in August, we did an at-home insemination. We were unsuccessful in getting pregnant, however, it was the first time I had ever been late. My OB/GYN thinks I had a chemical pregnancy but since I never saw a positive read on a pregnancy test, it didn't feel like a total loss. We also felt like it wasn't meant to be, as a month later, we went to Italy for a 3 week anniversary vacation where we drank ... a lot. We also learned that one of our best friends was getting married in August 2018 in London -- a wedding both of us want (need) to attend.
All of a sudden October had rolled around and in a blink of eye so did November and December. The rest of 2017 flew by for us. We simply didn't make the time to jump start the baby conversation again. Which brings us to these past few months.
Once we entered 2018 we both agreed we were ready and it was time but that we needed to make sure I wasn't too pregnant so I could still travel to London for the wedding. After some simple math we both agreed on March. March would be when we picked up this whole baby making journey again. January was all about meeting the right doctor; February was a waiting game; March was the trigger month.
On February 24th I got my period. A very happy day. It meant that approximately two weeks later I would be ovulating and ready for my first IUI (intrauterine insemination) with my doctor. Little did I know that those two weeks would be somewhat of an ordeal.
February 24 - Cycle Day (CD) 1
February 27 - CD 4, baseline ultrasound, and begin Clomid
March 5 - CD 10, ultrasound to check on size of egg (present on the right side)
March 8, CD 13, ultrasound to check egg growth progress (13 mm)
March 11, CD 18, ultrasound to check egg growth progress (17 mm) and received hCG trigger shot
March 12, CD 19, insemination
After the insemination I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I had felt the catheter go through my cervix. I had felt the release of the sperm into my uterus. It was surreal. A few hours following the "procedure" I felt very light cramping. But that was the extent of it. Now the tricky part came...
In 16 days I could go back to my doctor to take a blood test to see if I was pregnant. For 16 days I needed to not stress or worry. I didn't want to get attached. What if it didn't work? But how could I NOT get attached? I may actually BE pregnant! Oh right, no stress...no worry...
Well, surprisingly, the next two weeks flew by. I kept busy and went on with life like normal. This brings me to today, right now, as I type this. It's about to be 1 am on Monday, March 26th. According to my period and ovulation tracker, the first day of my period was supposed to be yesterday. If I don't get my period today or tomorrow, I'll be heading in to see my doctor on Wednesday for the pregnancy test. Stay calm, right? Well today marks our (my wife and my) 2nd wedding anniversary and this Friday begins Passover, a holiday about freedom and the rebirth of the Jewish people out of slavery. It's all quite poetic. I'd prefer for it to be a romantic poem where it ends with a positive pregnancy blood test, but I am doing what I can to stay realistic.
Our Little Secret
This past weekend was weird. And I don't mean in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I am living a double life, or in a parallel universe.
This past weekend was weird. And I don't mean in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I am living a double life, or in a parallel universe. We spent the whole weekend with our parents so it felt strange. No one knows we inseminated. It’s our little secret (and I tell my parents everything!!). And we don't want anyone to know because we feel like there isn’t anything to share...yet. Since we have to pay a premium for half of the ingredients, we figure we should be as cautious as possible. To us, that means keeping our insemination attempts to ourselves until one sticks.
It becomes a bit tricky, though. I noticed so many time where both Brit and I wanted to share with our parents and friends what we were up to. How we are abstaining from alcohol, caffeine for a more important reason. Or that the real reason I severely tweaked my lower back wasn't because of the heavy lifting we did (really it was only Brit) but in fact because of how I was laying on my back with my legs in the air for an hour. Or why I had suggested a dip in the hot tub but then refrained from really going in.
And of course, this may all be for nothing this time around. I may not actually be pregnant. I may just be normal Syd going above and beyond and out of my own way to ensure a healthy first trimester for nothing. Most of me is SOLD on the fact that I am not pregnant. There is no way that our very first attempt could be successful. There is also no way that we could get the timing right. No way. But then again, there really is no way of knowing; so I am a bit skeptical and hopeful it did work.
Only time will tell...
Insemination Day
It happened. Insemination day(s) quickly came and went and it was beyond surreal.
It happened. Insemination day(s) quickly came and went and it was beyond surreal. I had received the peak symbol for my ovulation on Monday, the day we hit the road to for a mini-cation to Las Vegas. I knew that I had one more peak day coming on Tuesday and that we wouldn't be home until Wednesday to swing by the California Cryobank (CCB) and pick up our package. I was a bit bummed and feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. Should we cancel our trip? Do I sit around and just wait every month for that happy face to appear until I do indeed become pregnant? Even though the peak symbol doesn't guarantee ovulation and it can occur anywhere from one to three days after, how will I know? Will I ever know? Is it all going to come down to luck? Well, we decided to continue with our trip, enjoy ourselves, and r-e-l-a-x for a couple days. We both needed it.
On our drive to Vegas, I called the CCB to place an order for our sperm pick up. It felt normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. It didn't really seem to phase me or Brit. In fact, it wasn't until our drive home several days later from Vegas TO the cryobank when the video above happened. Wednesday was day one of I-Day (Insemination Day). On this first round of trying at-home insemination, we decided to take home two vials. Our first round of insemination happened yesterday, Wednesday August 2nd, at around 4:30 p.m. When I woke up today, I decided to try one more OPK test. I was still in high fertility and from what I gathered from all the reading I had done, being able to do two or three inseminations per cycle can make a huge difference. So this morning was our second try, at around 10:30 a.m.
Now we wait. Until August 23rd. We wait 35 days per my OBG/YN's recommendation. That's the day where I take a pregnancy test (provided Aunt Flow is busy and can't make an appearance). So for now, it's no caffeine or alcohol, and a whole lot of wonderment.
My First OPK Test
Today is day 7 of my cycle and according to the chart that came with the ovulation test, it recommended starting taking the tests based on the shortest cycle I have had in the past couple of month.
Today is day 7 of my cycle. According to the chart that came with the Clearblue Advanced Digital Ovulation Test package, it recommended starting taking the tests based on the shortest cycle I have had in the past couple of month. Even when I was on birth control, my period didn't come like clock work. However, my cycle was always between 27 and 31 days, still within normal.
Well, I knew I today wasn't going to be a fertile, let alone in my peak fertility, day. But I'll follow the guidelines and try again tomorrow. I may have a bit more anxiety knowing that Brit and I will be out of town between July 31st and August 2nd, which is when I do believe I will be ovulating.
It was definitely a bizarre and surreal moment peeing on a stick and having to wait the 5 minutes. My tummy is full of butterflies as we enter this next week leading up to hopefully a positive and successful insemination.