Self-Care in a Box
We all know how important self-care is, especially as parents. And I feel like often as the primary parent, I will put my me-time on the back burner, usually to be forgotten until my fuse has run out. Well, the good news is, Brit has found a way to not only make sure my mental health and wellbeing are taken care of but has figured out how to present it to me in my love language: gifts!
We all know how important self-care is, especially as parents. And I feel like often as the primary parent, I will put my me-time on the back burner, usually to be forgotten until my fuse has run out.
Well, the good news is, Brit has found a way to not only make sure my mental health and wellbeing are taken care of but has figured out how to present it to me in my love language: gifts!
Enter TheraBox! TheraBox aims to inspire happier lives through practical joy-boosting activities and thoughtful self-care products! After all, self-care = self-love. With over $120 worth of retail value in every subscription box, you can now receive a monthly present as low as $30.99. Or perhaps you just need a little pick-me-up every now and again. TheraBox has one-time gifts and past boxes that ship immediately from their Happy Shoppe. From mindful activities and journals to soothing aromatherapy and essential oils, you can expect curated boxes that will leave you inspired, relaxed, and taken care of!
And the best part? You, my friends, can get 10% off your first order with promo code THESHARONMOMS10. To take advantage of my summer box, which ships ASAP, or to explore the other boxes, be sure to head to TheraBox.com today.
My Summer Box has everything I need — and then some! Living in SoCal, it is summer 75% of the year. And this summer, we are struggling with mosquitos. SO between the scorching sun and extra yucky bug bites, this box has kept me feeling refreshed and calm.
Our Birth Plan for Baby Boy
In case any of you are interested in what a birth plan can look like, and in particular, what our home birth plan looks like, we are sharing it with y’all as we just finished putting it together, now that our due date is just 3 weeks away.
In case any of you are interested in what a birth plan can look like, and in particular, what our home birth plan looks like, we are sharing it with y’all as we just finished putting it together, now that our due date is just 3 weeks away.
SURRENDER is the Name of the Game
Environment:
We are looking at creating a ‘Burke Williams’ - esque atmosphere. We want a serene, warm, soft, loving environment, leading to the celebration of our son’s birth day.
Our delivery is planned as:
Vaginal
Non-medicated
Water birth
Our Birthing Team:
Brit: wife, coach, partner supreme
Mom: doula extraordinaire
Dad: Extra hands, driver if needed, Thea’s caretaker if nighttime birth
Delaney/Eric/Marissa/Ari: Thea’s caretakers if day birth
Dana: food and drink
Dany: watch, feed and take care of Chloe
Ilana: Mom’s support
Annie: Brit’s support
Steve: masseuse
Rebecca and Lauren: production team
Blyss and Kim (her assistant): midwife team
During labor, we’d like:
The lights dimmed
Temperature of the house set to whatever my needs are in the moment
The room kept to a spa-level noise level
As few interruptions as possible
As few vaginal exams as possible
To wear my sleep bra and cotton shorts
For Brit and Mom to be present the entire time
To stay hydrated with water and OJ (over crushed ice)
To eat easy, calming foods (PB&J)
No cell phones once the photography/videography team arrive
One person ‘talking’ at a time to Sydney…there should be minimal voices/sound, unless Sydney is needing something or is being coached to surrender during contractions
Masks on … please!
I’d like to spend the 1st stage of labor:
Walking around
In the hot tub
Resting
Playing games: backgammon, cards, puzzling, etc.
I’d like fetal monitoring to be:
Intermittent
External
Performed if the baby is in distress
For pain relief I’d like to use:
Acupressure
Breathing technique
Guided meditation
Cold therapies (washcloth, ice)
Hot therapies (shower, steam, scented heating pads)
Massage
During delivery, I would like to:
Squat
Use a birthing tub
As the baby is being delivered, I would like to:
Push to comfort during contractions, listening to my body, and connecting with Baby Boy
Use a mirror to see the baby crown (if possible…may not be in water…)
Touch the head as he crowns (possibly…unless my body is working its wonder to push and have him emerge on his own)
Avoid forceps usage and vacuum extraction
Help catch the baby with Brit
Immediately after delivery, I would like:
The umbilical cord to be cut only after it stops pulsating
Brit to cut the umbilical cord
To deliver the placenta spontaneously and without assistance
To hold the baby immediately after delivery / have him placed on my tummy
To breastfeed as soon as possible / as soon as the baby has energy to do so
Sydney is adamant about seeing Baby Boy be weighed and measured
If a c-section is necessary, I would like:
To make sure all other options have been exhausted
To stay conscious
Brit to remain with me the entire time
The screen lowered so I can watch the baby come out
My hands left free so I can touch the baby
To breastfeed immediately
Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ Dining Nutritional Information
So I figured I’d put this post together because this information isn’t really out there and I feel like it should be. Gyu-Kaku is one of my favorite restaurants to go to. First off, Sydney loves to “do the cooking” which is nice on my end. Secondly, as someone who has been tracking her macros (macronutrients: Fats, Carbs, Proteins), I am usually always looking for ways to make sure I hit my protein goal, Gyu-Kaku, a Japanese BBQ restaurant is a great place when protein intake is needed. I also enjoy eating out but it’s common knowledge that eating out can be tricky while dieting. You could get a salad that you think is “healthy” but walk away having eaten an entire day’s worth of calories and then some! At Gyu-Kaku, I know if I pick a lean meat, I should be good.
So I figured I’d put this post together because this information isn’t really out there and I feel like it should be. If you’ve never been to a Gyu-Kaku BBQ restaurant, you should. Gyu-Kaku is one of my favorite restaurants to go to. First off, Sydney loves to “do the cooking” which is nice on my end. Secondly, as someone who has been tracking her macros (macronutrients: Fats, Carbs, Proteins), I am usually always looking for ways to make sure I hit my protein goal, Gyu-Kaku, a Japanese BBQ restaurant is a great place when protein intake is needed. I also enjoy eating out but it’s common knowledge that eating out can be tricky while dieting. You could get a salad that you think is “healthy” but walk away having eaten an entire day’s worth of calories and then some! At Gyu-Kaku, I know if I pick a lean meat, I should be good.
That being said, I still wanted to know the macros I was consuming and hated I had no clue except for their calorie count printed on their menu. So I reached out to their corporate office and asked for a nutritional breakdown…and they came through! Woohoo!
When I go to Gyu-Kaku my typical order is a house salad and 2 orders of Bistro Hanger Stake, maybe a side of rice if it looks like I have room in my macros for the day. When going into the restaurant all I knew was that the salad was 180 calories, the meat was 180 calories per portion and the rice would vary as I would weigh it out and enter into MyFitnessPal (because yes, I carry a pocket scale in my purse and I’m a bit cray..but that how I fit it into my macros for the day).
So is it healthy? Lets look
The salad breaks down as 15 grams of fat, 9 carbs, 2 protein. That comes to 179 Calories.
The Bistro Hanger Stake breaks down as 10 grams of fat, 0 grams of carbs, and 21 grams of protein. And remember I get 2 orders so lets double all these numbers to equal 20 grams of Fat and 42 grams of Protein.
In total, we are looking at 35 grams of fat, 9 grams of carbs and 44 grams of protein for a total of 527 calories and this is without my rice option.
To me, 527 calories are pretty low but those fats are really high. I usually have around 50 grams per day so this is more than half in one meal. I tend to swap my carbs and fats as needed and keep my proteins the same. So if I knew I was going to Gyu-Kaku I’d probably plan to swap my carbs for some extra fats that day.
Here is the nutritional breakdown for you to look at. Anything shock you in a good or bad way? And remember, each location might have a slightly different menu so you might see something on this menu not offered at your restaurant.
My Year In Review: 5 Things I Either Did or Did Not Do.
Something happened this year that I’m pretty disappointed about. I usually sit down with Sydney and create how our year is going to look. It’s our goals written down on paper vs just living in our heads as “nice thoughts”. Well, for the first time in about 8 years, we didn’t do it.
Something happened this year that I’m pretty disappointed about. I usually sit down with Sydney and create how our year is going to look. It’s our goals written down on paper vs just living in our heads as “nice thoughts”. Well, for the first time in about 8 years, we didn’t do it. Thea was born in December and we kept saying we would do it but never did. Now it’s the end of the year and I have no idea if I accomplished what I wanted to or not. Did I achieve some awesome goals? Yeah. Sure. Did I leave anything on the table? Maybe! I have no idea how to track it. That’s a breakdown. So in order to not dwell on what I can’t control anymore, I’m just gonna apologize to myself (and Sydney) and move forward.
Even though we didn’t write anything down, we were still taking things on and building our future.
Flying from Los ANGELES to Boston
1. We were aggressive with our savings and were able to save over $80,000 (between cash, 401k, Roth IRA and Brokerage) while still enjoying life. I’m not sure what others save, but this was a huge accomplishment for us. I started listening to the ChooseFI podcast and was literally taking action by Episode 4. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who has debt to pay off or saving goals to reach.
2. We traveled ... a lot! We went to Portland, Boston, San Francisco, Rhode Island, Kansas City, Arizona, Las Vegas (twice!), Utah, and New York City (twice!). We are definitely cutting back on travel this next year as Thea has become much more mobile and curious making us even more exhausted, and with a second baby on the way, it’s time for us to just relax at home. Well, except for the few road trips we already have planned and our trip to Toronto we have already booked, which we did through travel hacking. If you’ve never heard of travel hacking before, listen to Episode 9 of the ChooseFI podcast. It explains everything, but, to summarize what it taught us, we booked 2 first class, round trip tickets on Air Canada for $180 (including travel insurance) and we plan to travel hack our hotel stay once we figure out all the details.
2018 vs 2019 at 4th of July, Exact same weight but with weight lifting and macro counting.
3. I wanted to lose weight and get strong. This is kinda funny because I switched my training from a mostly cardio based routine to zero cardio and instead went to 100% weight lifting and something strange happened. My scale didn’t move. But my clothes started to get really big on me, my muscles started to have definition, and my face looked skinner in pictures (cause that’s what is really important 😆🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️). What I learned was when you lift weights (and eat right—I tracked my macros), you will burn fat but the scale might not move if you’re putting muscle weight on. I’ve always known that. I’ve seen the 5 pounds of fat vs 5 pounds of muscle display a million times but to see it in real life, was eye opening. The holidays have thrown me a bit — a lot — off my track but I plan on hitting the new year running ... or well, lifting.
4. I wanted to make more YouTube videos. I have SOOOO many video ideas in the notes app of my phone and we just have not done it. It goes back to not putting it existence — aka writing it down and making a plan. I feel like that’s something I need to schedule into my week because if it’s not there, it’s not going to be managed. Moving into 2020, I want to be more active on our Sharon Moms channel.
5. And in November we bought a house — cue the panic attack and pop the bubbly 😂! It basically means we’re real adults now. It’s nerve-racking and exciting and we’ll have more to share about it in the future. But basically this is one of the goals we created and set out back in 2018 when we chose to rent out our amazing condo and move in with Sydney’s parents.
In May of 2018, Sydney and I were having lunch in Brentwood and I randomly thought “What if we just move in with her parents and save as much money as possible?” I remember immediately thinking, “Do I want to say this out loud? What if she likes this idea and it actually happens happens?”. Then I said it. And Sydney liked it. That night she had dinner plans with her parents and I had an event to go to. When I got home she excitedly told me “my parents love the idea!” and my response was “what idea?”. So apparently Sydney hadn’t stopped thinking about what I said and by June we were packing up 10 years worth of stuff into boxes.
Originally my biggest concern was we were going to move and have nothing to show for it at the end. If we spent the $1,200 to move (yes, we used a moving company), spent 2 years living with other people in their house and weren’t able to save any money, I’d be really disappointed. This was a generous opportunity and I didn’t want to blow it. Well, in October the interest rates dropped and we made our move (10 months ahead of our 2 year schedule!) and we are now proud first time homebuyers!
2020 is going to be a huge year. I can’t wait to see what’s to come. I plan to create my year with Sydney (maybe post it here just to share how we do it). What are some of your 2020 goals? Do you have a goal creating structure you use? I’d love to hear about it!
Baby Lead Sleep
Baby lead sleep..and the importance of secure attachment. I get it. You are exhausted. You haven’t slept a full night in months since the baby was born. Welcome to parenting.
As written by and seen on Dr. Briar, who just so happens to my wonderful, smart, thoughtful, warm, wise, compassionate mama.
BABY LEAD SLEEP...and the importance of secure attachment.
I get it. You are exhausted. You haven’t slept a full night in months since the baby was born. Welcome to parenting.
Your baby spent ten months in your belly. Unlike cows, dogs, or most other mammals our babies are not ready to get up and walk away and fend for themselves within hours of birth. In fact, Ashley Montagu, a social anthropologist, suggested that it’s interesting that humans aren’t marsupials, like kangaroos. Kangaroo babies also need their mothers after birth and would die if they weren’t able to make it up to mamma’s pouch. Our babies need us in a similar way, and if they aren’t held, kept close, and loved, as well as fed and tended to physically in every way, they to would not survive.
Consider that after ten months in utero, it takes at least a year for our babies to gain some independence, and even then it’s pretty wobbly. Even at twenty-one they can be kind of wobbly and still need us. I know we can feel crazy with exhaustion when baby is up every other hour for nights on end. But the new trend in “sleep training” as a remedy for parental fatigue is more for the benefit of sleepy parents than it is about attending to baby’s developmental needs. Babies, when given consistent routines and lots of love, will eventually develop healthy sleep habits.
I have found that in over thirty years of helping families and raising my own babies, that our babies have a lot to teach us if we can listen. Babies who have had the opportunity to sleep with parents in their earliest development often establish very secure attachments to their parents, setting foundational tone for the quality of their broader relationships for the rest of their lives. By the time they are in fourth grade and invited to sleepover parties these children tend to be eager, happy, and confident. Even earlier, when it is time to start school, these kids often have less separation anxiety. They have learned that they can trust their instincts and rhythms. They feel confident that if they should need help it is there for the asking and they presume compassion and warmth.
Putting babies in cribs and letting them “cry it out” under the guise of sleep training is a terrifying thing for infants, leaving them to feel dismissed and that they are being punished for not being ready to separate. How can a human being learn to be separate if they don’t start out with an experience first of being securely attached. We are finding out that babies who are crib-bound or left alone too early or too much eventually stop crying because they become resigned, depressed, and despondent— not because they are learning that sleep or separateness is good.
I’m not saying that babies should never be in cribs or separate from parents. But we have to carefully attend to what our children are asking for and need. Some babies are more comfortable and adaptive to separateness than other babies. What I am saying is we have to listen to them and let them lead the way. You will not ruin your child by having too much closeness with a baby who is asking for it. You will not have a child who is eternally sleepless because you didn’t sleep train them at six months.
My granddaughter is ten months old. My daughter and daughter-in-law briefly toyed with the idea of sleep training, but when they really observed their daughter they saw, heard, and felt her need for closeness with them. Some babies will sleep through the night sooner and others later, but they will all learn eventually. The question is how will they learn? Will they learn to soothe themselves because you have shown them how, by being soothing? Will they associate sleep with the love of mommy’s smell, touch, heartbeat and loving expression? Will this first learning experience set them up positively for voicing their interests, needs, and curiosity later in life, putting them on track for being lifelong lovers of learning?
I hope you can put up with the first year or two or maybe even three of your baby’s possibly extreme neediness. It really is a flaw in our design that we aren’t marsupials and don’t have pouches where we could keep our babies close until they were ready to hop away on their own. But since we don’t, we need to use our ability to be imaginative and think it all the way through. We need to consider how very much our babies need us and then listen to them and be mindful of their cues. It’s got to be quite a shock to come into awarenesses in-utero and have everything handled for us: feeding, hydration, waste, oxygen; and then suddenly be pushed into an external world where we immediately have to take over all those functions instinctively outside.
We need to give our babies a lot of credit for their capacity to begin life as “outside” babies. To ease the shock of the transition a great deal of bodily contact with us is profoundly helpful. By keeping them close to us we are encouraging them to find their rhythms for feeding, playing, quiet time, and sleeping. We are the adults, and it's up to us to be resilient, strong, and loving if we want our children to evolve into secure loving well adjusted human beings. Let’s let them lead for this little while as babies. Soon enough they will have to do much of what everyone else asks and expects of them.
For this beginning time, when you are exhausted and bleary eyed, look at your beautiful baby and allow yourself to experience the miracle that they are. They are here and in your life as infants for such a fleeting moment, and they really want and need you right now. File this time away in your memory, so when they are teenagers and want you out of their rooms, out of their lives, except to please drive them to the mall NOW…you can refer back to this time and remember that you did have the closeness and bonding when they were little. Because you had good bonding during their infancy and toddler years YOU will be able to bear their need later to really separate and launch as adults.Then they really will need you to give them space and room in their “cribs.” And remember, they will come back, especially when they have been graciously and lovingly afforded the bonding they needed in the earliest months and years.
Amber Teething Necklace
We all know teething sucks for all parties involved in a babies life. Whether you have kids or not, we can all agree that teething’s a bitch. Or is it…?
We all know teething sucks for all parties involved in a babies life: the baby, the parents, fellow patrons dining at the same restaurant with said baby, grandparents, outings with friends with (again) said baby…you get the idea. Apparently, they say that teething is the worst pain anyone can go through and that if we as adults had to teethe, we wouldn’t survive. I’m not sure who “they” are but seems about right. Regardless, we all can agree, whether you have kids or not, teething’s a bitch.
Or is it…?
One of the best gifts we received for our baby shower was from my sister-on-law. Inside a bag full of amazing goodies we opened a Lolly Llama Amber Teething Necklace. What we quickly came to learn is that her two girls wore these necklaces very early on in life and rarely, if ever, complained or cried about teething pains.
We were definitely hesitant at first. As new mamas we didn’t know how to feel about the mystical baltic amber or how to feel about putting a necklace around our new baby’s neck. Here is what we have come to know and realize: it works! It’s really that simple. I don’t know if it is voodoo magic or merely the placebo affect, but we notice a drastic difference with Thea when she wears the necklace versus doesn’t wear the necklace.
So what exactly is a teething necklace? And what’s the science behind why it works? Amber has been thought to have healing and health benefits for thousands of years. Amber contains succinic acid which is what provides the amber with healing, immunity enhancing, anti-inflammatory, stress and pain relief properties. When babies wear the necklace, the natural heat from their bodies release the succinic acid which is then released into their bloodstream.
P.S. We waited until she could hold her head up on her own and had full control over her neck before we let her wear the necklace, which was around 3 or 4 months.
P.P.S. Also, for safety reasons, Lolly Llama’s baby necklaces are 12" in length specifically so that they wont fit in the baby's mouth.
P.P.P.S. Lolly Llama also has amber bracelets for little one’s too.
6 Questions We Are Asked All The Time
We get asked all sorts of questions — and sometimes assumptions are made — so we thought we’d provide a list of the most popular ones we’ve been asked as a lesbian couple with a child. Ready? Here we go…
We get asked all sorts of questions — and sometimes assumptions are made — so we thought we’d provide a list of the most popular ones we’ve been asked as a lesbian couple with a child. Ready? Here we go…
Question (Directed to either Brit or me): Are you her sister?
Answer: No, no she is not. We are wives. Not sister wives. Not she’s-my-best-friend-and-we-pretend-to-be-wives. We are just your ordinary married couple. It’s as simple as that.
Tip: Instead of assuming our relationship, either don’t ask at all, or, ask it as an open ended question, without assuming how we are related.
Q (Directed to one of us about Thea): Who’s her dad?
A: She doesn’t have a dad. She has two mommies. Sydney is ‘Mama’ and Brit is ‘Eema’ (which is mom in Hebrew).
T: Although we don’t take offense to this question, it may trigger other same-sex couples with child(ren) or other families with a single parent. Just some food for thought…
Q: How did you pick your donor?
A: We actually love this question because it really was the very first thing we did after we both agreed it was time to start our family. And it’s a good story. First, we both agreed to use the California Cryobank as it is one of the most reputable sperm banks in the country and we are lucky enough to live driving distance away from it. When we first started looking for our donor, Sydney took it upon herself to start the search. She logged into our account daily, for months. It was impossible for her to choose. There are so many options and choices. It’s sort of like shopping online at a department store. You can narrow down your search of a donor by height, eye color, hair color, blood type, education level, religion, etc. The list really does go on. When Sydney became frustrated with having to finally solidify her choice, Brit stepped in. Brit narrowed down the search by height (6’ or taller), eye color (we chose hazel), has Jewish Ancestry, and by blood type (O+ or B+ to match with one of us in case our children ever needed medical treatment). This resulted in 3 possible donor matches. Narrowing it down from there was actually fairly easy. We compared their medical histories and chose the one that was the best fit for us.
Q: What information do you have on your donor?
A: A lot! We were given three baby/childhood photos of him (no adult images are ever provided to help with keeping their anonymity). We have their medical history along with his parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles medical histories. We have SAT scores, genetic test summary, a donor profile, hobbies and interests, a fun questionnaire, and a few other gems.
Q: How does it work? How do you buy sperm?
A: Another good question…as we too had to learn as we went. Each vial of sperm equals one try (either for insemination or IVF). And each vial ranges in price based on how the donor is classified: either open, anonymous, or closed. An open donor means that when the child turns 18 they are already a yes to meeting the child if the child so wishes. An anonymous donor means that the Cryobank will attempt to reach the donor up to two times and at that time, the donor can choose whether or not they want to meet or speak with the child. A closed donor means they are not open to speaking or meeting. The cost ranges from $855 - $995. So you are essentially looking at $1,000 per vial (with taxes and fees). Once you select the donor you want, you are able to purchase directly online how ever many vials you want. One thing that was important to us was to be able to use the same donor for all of our children as to minimize the amount of shared DNA among them. We were told that, on average, it can take up to 4 tries through insemination to get pregnant. So ideally, you want to buy 4 times the amount of children you THINK you want to have. For us, that meant 16 vials, or $16,000! Yikes! We decided that we would start with 10 instead and hope that’s all we need. We were given 3 years of free storage for the vials with the purchase of 10 vials and, luckily, we got pregnant with one try. This isn’t the norm, and we are so grateful to and for our doctor for his aim!
Q: What’s the difference between IUI (intrauterine insemination) and IVF (in vitro fertilization)? Can you do this at home?
A: Intrauterine insemination, (also referred to as insemination or IUI) is essentially the turkey baster method but with a fertility specialist in a doctors office. They use a special instrument that goes through the woman’s cervix and releases the sperm. This gives those little swimmers a bit more of a push closer to finding that egg. In vitro (or IVF) is a medical procedure. After tracking ovulation and taking some serious and expensive medications, often involving daily injections, which produce the release of many eggs. The woman is put under and all the eggs are collected. Afterwards, the doctor uses petri dishes to introduce the eggs to sperm. Usually 50% of the sperm and egg couples will form an embryo. From there, a follow up appointment is made where the embryos are transferred back into the woman. The other big factor and difference between IUI and iVF? The cost! For us, our entire IUI treatment, including the medication I had to be on, the one vial of sperm, and all the doctor checkups leading up to my insemination, cost around $4,000. For us to do IVF, would have cost us nearly $50,000. We realized that we could do 12 IUI rounds for the cost of 1 IVF. And since IVF isn’t a 100% guarantee and it involves a serious medical procedure, the answer was pretty easy for us. As for trying at home? It is definitely possible and doable. However, in order to really have any kind of hope or success from tying at home, the sperm needs to be fresh — not from a sperm bank. This method works well for couples who are comfortable asking a friend to “donate” in the moment. Using frozen sperm that is then thawed often reduced the motility of the sperm and wont often make it pass the cervix (which is why IUI is so important and more accurate).
Well, that just about covers the top questions we are asked. If there is anything that you want more clarity on, have further questions about, or you’d like to know more, let us know in the comments. We are open books and are happy to share. We believe that visibility matters.
To Progesterone or Not To Progesterone
Do I need progesterone? What are the benefits and risks to taking progesterone and not taking progesterone? These are the questions I have.
Do I need progesterone? What are the benefits and risks to taking progesterone and not taking progesterone? These are the questions I have.
First, let's discuss what progesterone is and what it provides during a pregnancy. Progesterone is made early in pregnancy until about 10 weeks. One of progesterone's most important functions is its role in thickening the lining of the uterus each month such that it can nourish and care for the fertilized egg.
Second, let's talk about why and how I knew to ask about using a progesterone supplement. When I was first diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) in May 2013 I was asked during that same appointment if I was ever planning on becoming pregnant. I was advised then, 5 years ago, that when I do become pregnant, it may be beneficial to also be on a progesterone supplement during my first trimester, due to PCOS and the imbalance of hormones my body suffers from.
Now, we are at present day. Today I had my second hCG blood draw. With my first one, two days ago, and 16 days post insemination/ovulation, my hCG was at a 272. Today's reading, which needed to approximately double to show that my pregnancy was on the right track, came in at 629. Yay! Great news, right? Well, with the foresight from that PCOS diagnosis 5 years ago, I had also asked my doctor to run a progesterone panel. My progesterone level came back at a 10.1. What does that mean?
An average progesterone level should be between 6 and 20 but above 20 is preferred while pregnant. It's also important to note that progesterone levels lower later in the day and also lower if blood is drawn not during a fast. My blood draw was taken in the late morning and I had no fasted. So I was left with a choice to make -- to progesterone or not to progesterone? My fertility specialist, OB/GYN, and endocrinologist all said the same thing. There is no risk to taking it and there could be a risk to not taking it if my progesterone levels fall. There is really no guarantee one way or the other. So with no risk to my health or the babies, I decided to take it.
Progesterone comes in many forms: vaginal gel suppository, pill/capsule, and injection. My doctor and I both decided that the vaginal gel suppository would be best as it offers a lower amount of side effects. He also wanted me to try it for a week first to make sure that those side effects. And so, that is how we came up with the answer to this important and perhaps not very talked about question.
We're Pregnant
Writing these words, with tears coming down my face, I am not sure how to process the last 3 minutes of my life.
Writing these words, with tears coming down my face, I am not sure how to process the last 3 minutes of my life.
My cell phone rang at 4:42 pm from 'No Caller ID' -- it was my doctor. "Well, Sydney, it worked. Congratulations. You're pregnant and your hCG levels look great."
I didn't know what to say. I have wanted this to be real, for this to work on the first try, for it to be effortless. And as of right now, it's been all of that.
All the is running through my mind right now is figuring out how to tell Brit....and my mom....and my dad...and my brothers...and my friends....But I also want to keep taking this journey step by step, one day at a time.
I couldn't have asked for better news, and I want to wait until I hear the baby's heartbeat to tell people.
My heart is racing. My body is shaking. This. Is. Happening.
Pregnancy Blood Test
The first two weeks after my insemination flew by. I was busy and kept busy. In a blink of an eye, 14 days came and went.
The first two weeks after my insemination flew by. I was busy and kept busy. In a blink of an eye, 14 days came and went.
But then day 14 hit. Monday, March 26th. Not only is March 26th my wedding anniversary (just celebrated year #2), it's also my second day being late. The doctor had told me initially that if I don't get my period and it's been 16 days post-insemination that I should go in for a blood draw to find out if I was pregnant.
Well, I made it to today with no period (yet) and just got back from seeing my doctor and giving my blood. Now I wait. They said they should get back to me by the end of the day but it could take until tomorrow morning.
If I thought the last couple of days was bad...this is worse! Fingers crossed! 🤞🏻
2018 — The Year We Are Starting Our Family
It's been seven months since we've updated this blog. Not a strong start to this whole "journal our story" shpiel we want, but nonetheless, we are back.
It's been seven months since we've updated this blog. Not a strong start to this whole "journal our story" shpiel we want, but nonetheless, we are back.
So to catch you up, back in August, we did an at-home insemination. We were unsuccessful in getting pregnant, however, it was the first time I had ever been late. My OB/GYN thinks I had a chemical pregnancy but since I never saw a positive read on a pregnancy test, it didn't feel like a total loss. We also felt like it wasn't meant to be, as a month later, we went to Italy for a 3 week anniversary vacation where we drank ... a lot. We also learned that one of our best friends was getting married in August 2018 in London -- a wedding both of us want (need) to attend.
All of a sudden October had rolled around and in a blink of eye so did November and December. The rest of 2017 flew by for us. We simply didn't make the time to jump start the baby conversation again. Which brings us to these past few months.
Once we entered 2018 we both agreed we were ready and it was time but that we needed to make sure I wasn't too pregnant so I could still travel to London for the wedding. After some simple math we both agreed on March. March would be when we picked up this whole baby making journey again. January was all about meeting the right doctor; February was a waiting game; March was the trigger month.
On February 24th I got my period. A very happy day. It meant that approximately two weeks later I would be ovulating and ready for my first IUI (intrauterine insemination) with my doctor. Little did I know that those two weeks would be somewhat of an ordeal.
February 24 - Cycle Day (CD) 1
February 27 - CD 4, baseline ultrasound, and begin Clomid
March 5 - CD 10, ultrasound to check on size of egg (present on the right side)
March 8, CD 13, ultrasound to check egg growth progress (13 mm)
March 11, CD 18, ultrasound to check egg growth progress (17 mm) and received hCG trigger shot
March 12, CD 19, insemination
After the insemination I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I had felt the catheter go through my cervix. I had felt the release of the sperm into my uterus. It was surreal. A few hours following the "procedure" I felt very light cramping. But that was the extent of it. Now the tricky part came...
In 16 days I could go back to my doctor to take a blood test to see if I was pregnant. For 16 days I needed to not stress or worry. I didn't want to get attached. What if it didn't work? But how could I NOT get attached? I may actually BE pregnant! Oh right, no stress...no worry...
Well, surprisingly, the next two weeks flew by. I kept busy and went on with life like normal. This brings me to today, right now, as I type this. It's about to be 1 am on Monday, March 26th. According to my period and ovulation tracker, the first day of my period was supposed to be yesterday. If I don't get my period today or tomorrow, I'll be heading in to see my doctor on Wednesday for the pregnancy test. Stay calm, right? Well today marks our (my wife and my) 2nd wedding anniversary and this Friday begins Passover, a holiday about freedom and the rebirth of the Jewish people out of slavery. It's all quite poetic. I'd prefer for it to be a romantic poem where it ends with a positive pregnancy blood test, but I am doing what I can to stay realistic.
Our Little Secret
This past weekend was weird. And I don't mean in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I am living a double life, or in a parallel universe.
This past weekend was weird. And I don't mean in a bad way, but in a way where I feel like I am living a double life, or in a parallel universe. We spent the whole weekend with our parents so it felt strange. No one knows we inseminated. It’s our little secret (and I tell my parents everything!!). And we don't want anyone to know because we feel like there isn’t anything to share...yet. Since we have to pay a premium for half of the ingredients, we figure we should be as cautious as possible. To us, that means keeping our insemination attempts to ourselves until one sticks.
It becomes a bit tricky, though. I noticed so many time where both Brit and I wanted to share with our parents and friends what we were up to. How we are abstaining from alcohol, caffeine for a more important reason. Or that the real reason I severely tweaked my lower back wasn't because of the heavy lifting we did (really it was only Brit) but in fact because of how I was laying on my back with my legs in the air for an hour. Or why I had suggested a dip in the hot tub but then refrained from really going in.
And of course, this may all be for nothing this time around. I may not actually be pregnant. I may just be normal Syd going above and beyond and out of my own way to ensure a healthy first trimester for nothing. Most of me is SOLD on the fact that I am not pregnant. There is no way that our very first attempt could be successful. There is also no way that we could get the timing right. No way. But then again, there really is no way of knowing; so I am a bit skeptical and hopeful it did work.
Only time will tell...
Insemination Day
It happened. Insemination day(s) quickly came and went and it was beyond surreal.
It happened. Insemination day(s) quickly came and went and it was beyond surreal. I had received the peak symbol for my ovulation on Monday, the day we hit the road to for a mini-cation to Las Vegas. I knew that I had one more peak day coming on Tuesday and that we wouldn't be home until Wednesday to swing by the California Cryobank (CCB) and pick up our package. I was a bit bummed and feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place. Should we cancel our trip? Do I sit around and just wait every month for that happy face to appear until I do indeed become pregnant? Even though the peak symbol doesn't guarantee ovulation and it can occur anywhere from one to three days after, how will I know? Will I ever know? Is it all going to come down to luck? Well, we decided to continue with our trip, enjoy ourselves, and r-e-l-a-x for a couple days. We both needed it.
On our drive to Vegas, I called the CCB to place an order for our sperm pick up. It felt normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. It didn't really seem to phase me or Brit. In fact, it wasn't until our drive home several days later from Vegas TO the cryobank when the video above happened. Wednesday was day one of I-Day (Insemination Day). On this first round of trying at-home insemination, we decided to take home two vials. Our first round of insemination happened yesterday, Wednesday August 2nd, at around 4:30 p.m. When I woke up today, I decided to try one more OPK test. I was still in high fertility and from what I gathered from all the reading I had done, being able to do two or three inseminations per cycle can make a huge difference. So this morning was our second try, at around 10:30 a.m.
Now we wait. Until August 23rd. We wait 35 days per my OBG/YN's recommendation. That's the day where I take a pregnancy test (provided Aunt Flow is busy and can't make an appearance). So for now, it's no caffeine or alcohol, and a whole lot of wonderment.
My First OPK Test
Today is day 7 of my cycle and according to the chart that came with the ovulation test, it recommended starting taking the tests based on the shortest cycle I have had in the past couple of month.
Today is day 7 of my cycle. According to the chart that came with the Clearblue Advanced Digital Ovulation Test package, it recommended starting taking the tests based on the shortest cycle I have had in the past couple of month. Even when I was on birth control, my period didn't come like clock work. However, my cycle was always between 27 and 31 days, still within normal.
Well, I knew I today wasn't going to be a fertile, let alone in my peak fertility, day. But I'll follow the guidelines and try again tomorrow. I may have a bit more anxiety knowing that Brit and I will be out of town between July 31st and August 2nd, which is when I do believe I will be ovulating.
It was definitely a bizarre and surreal moment peeing on a stick and having to wait the 5 minutes. My tummy is full of butterflies as we enter this next week leading up to hopefully a positive and successful insemination.
It Came — Finally
It's no surprise. Since puberty, women have been greeted monthly by their Aunt Flow. For me? Not so much.
**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS INFORMATION PERTAINING TO A MENSTRUAL CYCLE.**
It's no surprise. Since puberty, women have been greeted monthly by their Aunt Flow. For me? Not so much. One of the tall tell signs of having PCOS is irregular periods. I would go anywhere from two to four months without getting my period. Back in my high school days, and even college, I saw it as a blessing. I used to hate getting my period. It was annoying, time consuming, I was always grumpy and irritable, and I had to deal with remembering how many hours ago it was that I put in my last tampon. The last thing I needed was to be diagnosed with a fatal Toxic Shock Syndrome. Highly unlikely, I know. But still...
Well now that Brit and I are trying to start making a baby, I have been praying for my monthly visits from Aunt Flow. See, about three years ago I was put on birth control, as it's one of the main methods to treating PCOS. I was only taking active pills. In other words, when it came time to my week of placebos, I'd skip them and go straight to my next month's active pills. This is actually a great way of reducing the risk of getting breast/ovarian cancer. Then, about six months, I began taking those placebos. My doctors wanted me to start having a period again to ensure a healthy uterine lining was being released. It took until my third cycle on placebos for my period to arrive. I screamed! Brit was obviously concerned. She came running into the bathroom to make sure I was okay. I was. Beyond okay, actually. I looked at her gleefully and said, "It came! It's here! I got my period!" She just shook her head, laughed, and congratulated me. Something I dreaded getting when I was younger, I was now over the moon about coming. Of course, I am happy about getting my period, only to wish it not come back for about 10 months.
I have now been off birth control all together for a month. Well, 32 days to be exact. When I was taking my birth control, I was getting my period like clock work. But now, not so much. Until today. It came...late...but it came! And so now the countdown is on for ovulation. I am keeping track with two different apps, Ovia and Flow. They are both giving me a similar time frame but are off by about a day or so. In order to time this as pefectly as we can, I'll start peeing on those OPK sticks in about a week.
The kicker? Brit and I are leaving for Vegas on July 31st, returning on August 2nd for a merchandising convention. When am I supposed to be at my peak ovulation? Sometime between August 1st and August 3rd. And so the journey continues...