My Year In Review: 5 Things I Either Did or Did Not Do.

Something happened this year that I’m pretty disappointed about. I usually sit down with Sydney and create how our year is going to look. It’s our goals written down on paper vs just living in our heads as “nice thoughts”. Well, for the first time in about 8 years, we didn’t do it. Thea was born in December and we kept saying we would do it but never did. Now it’s the end of the year and I have no idea if I accomplished what I wanted to or not. Did I achieve some awesome goals? Yeah. Sure. Did I leave anything on the table? Maybe! I have no idea how to track it. That’s a breakdown. So in order to not dwell on what I can’t control anymore, I’m just gonna apologize to myself (and Sydney) and move forward. 

Even though we didn’t write anything down, we were still taking things on and building our future.

Flying from Los ANGELES to Boston

1. We were aggressive with our savings and were able to save over $80,000 (between cash, 401k, Roth IRA and Brokerage) while still enjoying life. I’m not sure what others save, but this was a huge accomplishment for us. I started listening to the ChooseFI podcast and was literally taking action by Episode 4. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who has debt to pay off or saving goals to reach. 

2. We traveled ... a lot! We went to Portland, Boston, San Francisco, Rhode Island, Kansas City, Arizona, Las Vegas (twice!), Utah, and New York City (twice!). We are definitely cutting back on travel this next year as Thea has become much more mobile and curious making us even more exhausted, and with a second baby on the way, it’s time for us to just relax at home. Well, except for the few road trips we already have planned and our trip to Toronto we have already booked, which we did through travel hacking. If you’ve never heard of travel hacking before, listen to Episode 9 of the ChooseFI podcast. It explains everything, but, to summarize what it taught us, we booked 2 first class, round trip tickets on Air Canada for $180 (including travel insurance) and we plan to travel hack our hotel stay once we figure out all the details. 

2018 vs 2019 at 4th of July, Exact same weight but with weight lifting and macro counting.

3. I wanted to lose weight and get strong. This is kinda funny because I switched my training from a mostly cardio based routine to zero cardio and instead went to 100% weight lifting and something strange happened. My scale didn’t move. But my clothes started to get really big on me, my muscles started to have definition, and my face looked skinner in pictures (cause that’s what is really important 😆🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️). What I learned was when you lift weights (and eat right—I tracked my macros), you will burn fat but the scale might not move if you’re putting muscle weight on. I’ve always known that. I’ve seen the 5 pounds of fat vs 5 pounds of muscle display a million times but to see it in real life, was eye opening. The holidays have thrown me a bit — a lot — off my track but I plan on hitting the new year running ... or well, lifting. 

4. I wanted to make more YouTube videos. I have SOOOO many video ideas in the notes app of my phone and we just have not done it. It goes back to not putting it existence — aka writing it down and making a plan. I feel like that’s something I need to schedule into my week because if it’s not there, it’s not going to be managed. Moving into 2020, I want to be more active on our Sharon Moms channel. 

5. And in November we bought a house — cue the panic attack and pop the bubbly 😂! It basically means we’re real adults now. It’s nerve-racking and exciting and we’ll have more to share about it in the future. But basically this is one of the goals we created and set out back in 2018 when we chose to rent out our amazing condo and move in with Sydney’s parents.

In May of 2018, Sydney and I were having lunch in Brentwood and I randomly thought “What if we just move in with her parents and save as much money as possible?” I remember immediately thinking, “Do I want to say this out loud? What if she likes this idea and it actually happens happens?”. Then I said it. And Sydney liked it. That night she had dinner plans with her parents and I had an event to go to. When I got home she excitedly told me “my parents love the idea!” and my response was “what idea?”. So apparently Sydney hadn’t stopped thinking about what I said and by June we were packing up 10 years worth of stuff into boxes. 

Originally my biggest concern was we were going to move and have nothing to show for it at the end. If we spent the $1,200 to move (yes, we used a moving company), spent 2 years living with other people in their house and weren’t able to save any money, I’d be really disappointed. This was a generous opportunity and I didn’t want to blow it. Well, in October the interest rates dropped and we made our move (10 months ahead of our 2 year schedule!) and we are now proud first time homebuyers! 

2020 is going to be a huge year. I can’t wait to see what’s to come. I plan to create my year with Sydney (maybe post it here just to share how we do it). What are some of your 2020 goals? Do you have a goal creating structure you use? I’d love to hear about it!

Getting a Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, and Passport After a Home Birth in Los Angeles

When you have a hospital birth, the staff takes care of the paperwork needed for getting your child’s birth certificate and social security card. When delivering at home, the responsibilities fall on you. There was a lot we learned, including unnecessary office visits at very early hours, so we wanted to help other families out there in streamlining the process.

First, let’s talk about the order in which you need to acquire said documents. First comes the birth certificate; then, the social security card; and finally, the passport.

Birth Certificate

You need to call and make an appointment if you live and gave birth in Los Angeles County. For us, the next available time slot was 4 weeks out from the phone call. We weren’t thrilled about that time frame in the moment, however, we realized that the last thing we wanted to do with our newborn was leave the house. So the wait time was actually a blessing in disguise.

Phone Number: (213) 288-7812 (A game of phone tag is more than likely to happen.)

On the day of your appointment, you will go to the Department of Public Health Vital Records Office at 313 N. Figueroa Street, Room Lobby-1, Los Angeles, CA 90012. I highly recommend having the birth certificate application already printed and filled out. In addition to the application, you will also need to bring the following:

1. Photo ID in the form of a (valid) Driver’s License or Passport;

2. Proof of the pregnancy in the form of a signed pregnancy test verification letter or "Affidavit of Birth Information for Out-of-Hospital Births" form (provided by your midwife);

3. Your baby + a letter on the pediatrician's letterhead stating (1) the date the child was born, (2) the baby's health conditions, (3) baby's weight at the time of the visit, and (4) the child's complete name and address;

4. And proof that the birth occurred in Los Angeles County. Another form our Midwife gave us at the time of our daughter’s birth proved this. And, there are several other ways to prove that the mother was in Los Angeles County on the date that the birth occurred (which you can read more about by clicking the link below on #5).

5. Here are the full Requirements for Registering Out-of-Hospital Births

The benefit to doing this process is you receive a certified birth certificate on the spot. You can also request additional certified copies to be made at the same appointment. We decided to have three made. The cost is $28 per birth certificate and they accept payment in the form of cash, credit/debit, check (payable to County of Los Angeles), and money order.

Social Security Card

So this one is a bit of a pain as this is the one step where you can not make an appointment for at the the Social Security Administration office. You must show up in person. You’ll want to go to whichever location is closest to you. (Here’s a list of all the ones in California.) If you make it a priority to be one of the first ones in line (get there 1 hour before they open their doors), you should be in and out in under 20 minutes. Here is what you need to bring with you:

1. Your child’s official birth certificate.

2. Your child. In addition, bring your proof of pregnancy that you brought for the birth certificate (see above #2).

3. Legal guardians. All legal parents should be present and should bring either your driver’s license or passport.

4. The application for a new social security card, which can be filled out and found here.

5. For additional documents that may be used instead of the ones mentioned here, please visit SSA.

Passport

This is perhaps the easiest of the three to obtain, if, and only if, you are not pressed for an out-of-country visit. As passports are not a requirement to have, this process has a slower turnaround time, but of course, can be expedited for a fee.

A neat trick we learned through this process was that the Beverly Hills Library can process passports! It’s a much happier, cleaner, kid-friendly, beautiful place to visit over the government buildings. So if you are in the Los Angeles area, or can manage a quick Google search, there may be other unique spots that will issue you a passport.

In addition to having the passport form filled out, you will also need to bring:

1. Child’s official birth certificate along with a photocopy of the front (and back, if there is printed information).

2. Legal guardian(s) present ID, such as a fully-valid driver's license or passport and a photocopy of the front and back of each ID that you choose to present.

3. Both/All parents/guardians must authorize the issuance of your child's passport. The best way to do this is for both of you to go with the child in person when you apply.

And there you have it.

It’s a bit of a nuisance to manage and get done, but it’s a lot easier that we anticipated. And here you now have all the documents and lists to have it go (hopefully) as smoothly as possible.

4th of July Family Photo Session

As we do every year, we went to Zion National Park for the 4th of July. Sydney has been going for 18 summers and I’ve been joining her for the past 10. This was Thea’s first time as an outside baby and Sydney grabbed her iPhone Xs, which has an amazing camera on it (better than my iPhone X camera). So here are a few of my favorites snaps that she took:

Our 4th of July Zion National Park Trip Turned into a BioFest

Every year we go to Springdale, Utah, where you can find Zion National Park, with Sydney’s entire extended family for a big, fun-filled week of hiking, pool time and lots of yummy food. We stay outside the park at an amazing hotel called The Desert Pearl Inn. The rooms are right on the bank of the Virgin River and their service is top notch. I highly recommend them if you ever plan a trip to Zion.

After this amazing year where Sydney found out she has 6 half brothers and sisters—if you don’t know what I’m talking about, please go read 6 New Siblings in Less Than a Year before continuing this—we invited everyone to join us for this year’s annual trip, in what turned into, what we dubbed as, BioFest. We even had swag.

We had siblings from as close as Phoenix and as far as Toronto. For some, it was the first time they were meeting. The connection was incredible to witness. These people were all strangers last year and after a few months of constant texting and a few Facebook friend requests, they were family.

We spent most days in our bathing suits lounging by the pool, sharing stories of everyone’s first moments of opening their 23&Me kit results, how first conversations with certain siblings went, and comparing one sibling’s likes and dislikes with another’s. In the evening, we’d go out to dinner, get ice cream, and then head back to our river side rooms and play corn hole, drink beers, take selfies, and pass baby Thea around, who is our very own second generation donor baby.

Saying goodbye was hard after such an amazing week, and, we hope to get together again in October in New York for Max’s wedding. Until then, here are some pictures from our trip:

Traveling with A Newborn

Friday, March 15

10:40 am

Well, here we are, our first adventure involving more than a long, 6 hour car ride up to Mammoth. This is our first trip with Thea, whose all of 15 weeks old, and we are headed to Portland. Why Portland? Why now?

Well, this month marks Brit and my 3 year wedding anniversary. Yay! The two of us have also wanted to take the Coast Starlight Train, a long-haul passenger train, sleeper cabin and all, from Los Angeles up north. We figured this would be the perfect opportunity to put those two things together. So we are taking the train up (29 hours) and flying back (a short 2 hour flight).

What’s more, my mom’s birthday is in a few days, so we figured that including my parents on our traveling adventures to celebrate her birthday and our anniversary would make traveling with our 3 month old a whole lot easier and have us feel a bit more comfortable when we fly for the first time with Thea.

Since we have another vacation coming up in May that is going to involve longer air travel sans the grandparents, we figured this was a good way to introduce us two new mamas to travel with a newborn.

So thank goodness for that idea. Brit and I are already exhausted, and I am writing this blog after departing the train station just 30 minutes ago. Pathetic, right? Well. I have already learned a lot, starting with that we all need to be packed days before we travel. Waiting until the night before — part of our routine pre baby — is no longer sufficient. There are simply too many things to juggle. Tip #2? Start by packing the necessities — you know, like diapers and wipes. As we pulled into the train station, Brit noticed that we had forgotten baby wipes. Oh joy!

5:30 pm

We have new developments on the traveling front, re: clothing. This is an important one, and thankfully, we are traveling during a wetter and colder winter (for us SoCal girls). Regardless if you are visiting the snow or the beach, via car, train, or plane, you should always pack an array of outfits for both warmer and cooler weather. Aside from just being prepared, here is what I learned and saw value in today.

While aboard our train today, we noticed a few hours in that our car wasn’t getting cool. At first we thought this was as good as it got. But when we went to the dining car for lunch, we noticed how much cooler it was in every other car aside from ours. Welp, that explained Thea’s fussiness. She wasn’t even in anything too warm, but we knew it’s been chilly out and would be even colder in Portland. She started out the morning in a long sleeve bodysuit, leggings, a fleece jacket, and fleece booties. After boarding the train, when it was still off, I took the booties off since it was so hot. When she woke from that nap, off came the jacket. After lunch, all that remained was a diaper. She was instantly happier, despite being hot and sweaty from the lack of A/C.

We also had some foresight early this morning, our eyes barely opened, that we should grab two blankets; one fleece and one cotton muslin, just in case. Moral of this tip? Those ‘just in case’ instances are likely to happen more than not when traveling + and with a child. The baby is now happily fast asleep in her DockATot, diaper and all.

Saturday, March 16

2:10 pm

Today was definitely less eventful, after all, we’ve been traveling with our Little One for nearly 24 hours now, so we’re pro! (JK.) What made this day different was cabin fever. We were all getting close to being pushed to our limits. The sleeper rooms, although considered ‘first class’ were maybe 64 sq. ft. in size; the hallways to pass from car to car made us all walk sideways like crabs; the food, although surprisingly edible and okay, was repetitive; and the loud speakers didn’t help with nap time.

I am only 10 days post op from my gallbladder surgery, which means Brit has been on super mommy mode. She has been taking care of Thea, Chloe (our puppy), me, and herself. To say she was/is exhausted would be a gross understatement. Then to add some leisurely travel in there while we are all squished like sardines, was the cherry on top. She has truly been my hero throughout all of this. So needless to say, we both took turns entertaining Thea, each in our own ways.

4:30 pm

To say we were happy to arrive in Portland, would have been a gross understatement. Especially since our train was behind schedule by just over an hour. It through us all for a loop. But checking in to our hotel, one of two 5-star hotels in all of Downtown Portland according to TripAdvisor, made us all feel a little bit like Eloise, checking into the top floor of the Plaza Hotel.

It was clean. It was spacious. It was luxurious. It had a shower. The bed was big enough for us all. It was exactly what we all needed after the last 30 hours of being on a train.

Sunday, March 17

Being Gay and Jewish

Before I was gay, I was Jewish. 

I have always loved being Jewish and personally felt like I had a special relationship with “God.” I never really thought of God as a man or a woman, just a voice in my head that I could talk to when I needed someone. A force out there that encouraged me to make the right choices.

When I realized I was gay, I thought I had to choose between being Jewish and being gay. I was raised in the Chabad sect of Judaism — for unfamiliar readers, it’s an orthodox sect — and you weren’t “allowed” to be gay in Chabad. And as a child, I didn’t know there were other forms of Judaism. So I was faced with quite a conflict. 

When I came out to myself, I left the synagogue I had grown up in and joined the neighboring Reformed synagogue — literally across the street — where I knew some kids from high school went.

After high school I moved to Israel and that was when I saw what being gay and Jewish really looked like. Tel Aviv is continuously ranked the gayest city in the world, and while living there, I was able to meet new people, explore my religion, and realize exactly who I was. For the first time in my life I wasn’t under the watchful eye of my parents and I had the opportunity to be an out-of-the-closet version of myself. I was never in the closet again and I fell deeper in love with being Jewish while living in Israel.

Now, at 29, I find myself living my most authentic life. I’m happily married to my wife —who is also Jewish and began dating while living in Israel. And, we joyously welcomed our first child into the world only two months ago, making me feel even more connected to my religion than ever.

My wife Sydney and I are members of a Reconstructionist synagogue in Malibu, Malibu Jewish Center and Synagogue (MJC&S), which, for the first 9 years of our relationship, was led by our female rabbi, our gay cantor, and with members from all parts of the LGBT family. It’s where we were married and where we plan on raising our family. One of our favorite things about MJC&S are the Shabbat on the Beach events during the summer.

I’m also involved in a organization called JQ International, that fosters gay and Jewish identities so people never feel like they need to choose between their religion and being gay. Some of my favorite things JQ International offers are Shebrew Shabbats, Pride Shabbats (which kicks off Pride month), and an overall opportunity to connect and build friendships with other gay Jews in Los Angeles.

Had someone told me 10 years ago this would be my life, I would have never believed them.