Sweet Corn Spoonbread
I was so fortunate to stumble across the recipe a few years ago when I thought I was making traditional cornbread. You can imagine to my surprise after all the baking when my finished product was more soupy and mushy than traditional dry cornbread. Needless to say, this is one of those mix-all-the-ingredients-together-and-bake sorta dishes, and your family and friends — and you — will never want the traditional kind again.
I was so fortunate to stumble across the recipe a few years ago when I thought I was making traditional cornbread. You can imagine to my surprise after all the baking when my finished product was more soupy and mushy than traditional dry cornbread. Needless to say, this is one of those mix-all-the-ingredients-together-and-bake sorta dishes, and your family and friends — and you — will never want the traditional kind again.
INGREDIENTS
1 (8.5-ounce) package JIFFY Corn Muffin Mix
1 (14.75-ounce) can cream style corn
1 (15-ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 cup sour cream
3 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
Directions
Preheat the oven to 375° and lightly grease a 2-quart casserole dish with nonstick cooking spray. In a large bowl, combine the ingredients and mix well. Pour the mixture into the casserole dish. Bake 35 to 40 minutes, or until the spoon bread is golden brown and set.
Getting a Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, and Passport After a Home Birth in Los Angeles
When you have a hospital birth, the staff takes care of the paperwork needed for getting your child’s birth certificate and social security card. When delivering at home, the responsibilities fall on you.
When you have a hospital birth, the staff takes care of the paperwork needed for getting your child’s birth certificate and social security card. When delivering at home, the responsibilities fall on you. There was a lot we learned, including unnecessary office visits at very early hours, so we wanted to help other families out there in streamlining the process.
First, let’s talk about the order in which you need to acquire said documents. First comes the birth certificate; then, the social security card; and finally, the passport.
Birth Certificate
You need to call and make an appointment if you live and gave birth in Los Angeles County. For us, the next available time slot was 4 weeks out from the phone call. We weren’t thrilled about that time frame in the moment, however, we realized that the last thing we wanted to do with our newborn was leave the house. So the wait time was actually a blessing in disguise.
Phone Number: (213) 288-7812 (A game of phone tag is more than likely to happen.)
On the day of your appointment, you will go to the Department of Public Health Vital Records Office at 313 N. Figueroa Street, Room Lobby-1, Los Angeles, CA 90012. I highly recommend having the birth certificate application already printed and filled out. In addition to the application, you will also need to bring the following:
Photo ID in the form of a (valid) Driver’s License or Passport;
Proof of the pregnancy in the form of a signed pregnancy test verification letter or "Affidavit of Birth Information for Out-of-Hospital Births" form (provided by your midwife);
Your baby + a letter on the pediatrician's letterhead stating (1) the date the child was born, (2) the baby's health conditions, (3) baby's weight at the time of the visit, and (4) the child's complete name and address;
And proof that the birth occurred in Los Angeles County. Another form our Midwife gave us at the time of our daughter’s birth proved this. And, there are several other ways to prove that the mother was in Los Angeles County on the date that the birth occurred (which you can read more about by clicking the link below on #5).
Here are the full Requirements for Registering Out-of-Hospital Births
The benefit to doing this process is you receive a certified birth certificate on the spot. You can also request additional certified copies to be made at the same appointment. We decided to have three made. The cost is $28 per birth certificate and they accept payment in the form of cash, credit/debit, check (payable to County of Los Angeles), and money order.
Social Security Card
So this one is a bit of a pain as this is the one step where you can not make an appointment for at the the Social Security Administration office. You must show up in person. You’ll want to go to whichever location is closest to you. (Here’s a list of all the ones in California.) If you make it a priority to be one of the first ones in line (get there 1 hour before they open their doors), you should be in and out in under 20 minutes. Here is what you need to bring with you:
Your child’s official birth certificate.
Your child. In addition, bring your proof of pregnancy that you brought for the birth certificate (see above #2).
Legal guardians. All legal parents should be present and should bring either your driver’s license or passport.
The application for a new social security card, which can be filled out and found here.
For additional documents that may be used instead of the ones mentioned here, please visit SSA.
Passport
This is perhaps the easiest of the three to obtain, if, and only if, you are not pressed for an out-of-country visit. As passports are not a requirement to have, this process has a slower turnaround time, but of course, can be expedited for a fee.
A neat trick we learned through this process was that the Beverly Hills Library can process passports! It’s a much happier, cleaner, kid-friendly, beautiful place to visit over the government buildings. So if you are in the Los Angeles area, or can manage a quick Google search, there may be other unique spots that will issue you a passport.
In addition to having the passport form filled out, you will also need to bring:
Child’s official birth certificate along with a photocopy of the front (and back, if there is printed information).
Legal guardian(s) present ID, such as a fully-valid driver's license or passport and a photocopy of the front and back of each ID that you choose to present.
Both/All parents/guardians must authorize the issuance of your child's passport. The best way to do this is for both of you to go with the child in person when you apply.
And there you have it.
It’s a bit of a nuisance to manage and get done, but it’s a lot easier that we anticipated. And here you now have all the documents and lists to have it go (hopefully) as smoothly as possible.
The Ooiest, Gooiest Rice Krispie Treats
Most people would probably not bother adding a Rise Krispie Treats recipe to their blog since the original one is so readily available on every Rice Krispie box. But, once you try making them this way, you’ll never want them any other way again. So proceed with caution. These are dangerously delicious.
Most people would probably not bother adding a Rise Krispie Treats recipe to their blog since the original one is so readily available on every Rice Krispie box. But, once you try making them this way, you’ll never want them any other way again. So proceed with caution. These are dangerously delicious.
Photo by Rumbly in my Tumbly because we ate our entire batch and forgot to snap a photo!
INGREDIENTS
5 tablespoons butter
8 cups + another 2 cups of mini marshmallows
6 cups Rice Krispies cereal
1/2 teaspoon salt
Directions
Spray a 9×9 inch pan with non-stick spray and line it with a foil or parchment paper sling. Spray again.
In a very large microwave safe bowl, place your butter, salt, and 8 cups of mini marshmallows. Microwave in 30 second increments, stirring in between, until butter and marshmallows are completely melted and smooth.
Add in the Rice Krispie cereal and mix well. Add in the remaining marshmallows while still warm and lightly press into your prepared pan. (using a spoon with a little butter on it will help you accomplish this without it sticking all over your hands.)
Chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes before cutting into squares. Enjoy!
Baby Lead Sleep
Baby lead sleep..and the importance of secure attachment. I get it. You are exhausted. You haven’t slept a full night in months since the baby was born. Welcome to parenting.
As written by and seen on Dr. Briar, who just so happens to my wonderful, smart, thoughtful, warm, wise, compassionate mama.
BABY LEAD SLEEP...and the importance of secure attachment.
I get it. You are exhausted. You haven’t slept a full night in months since the baby was born. Welcome to parenting.
Your baby spent ten months in your belly. Unlike cows, dogs, or most other mammals our babies are not ready to get up and walk away and fend for themselves within hours of birth. In fact, Ashley Montagu, a social anthropologist, suggested that it’s interesting that humans aren’t marsupials, like kangaroos. Kangaroo babies also need their mothers after birth and would die if they weren’t able to make it up to mamma’s pouch. Our babies need us in a similar way, and if they aren’t held, kept close, and loved, as well as fed and tended to physically in every way, they to would not survive.
Consider that after ten months in utero, it takes at least a year for our babies to gain some independence, and even then it’s pretty wobbly. Even at twenty-one they can be kind of wobbly and still need us. I know we can feel crazy with exhaustion when baby is up every other hour for nights on end. But the new trend in “sleep training” as a remedy for parental fatigue is more for the benefit of sleepy parents than it is about attending to baby’s developmental needs. Babies, when given consistent routines and lots of love, will eventually develop healthy sleep habits.
I have found that in over thirty years of helping families and raising my own babies, that our babies have a lot to teach us if we can listen. Babies who have had the opportunity to sleep with parents in their earliest development often establish very secure attachments to their parents, setting foundational tone for the quality of their broader relationships for the rest of their lives. By the time they are in fourth grade and invited to sleepover parties these children tend to be eager, happy, and confident. Even earlier, when it is time to start school, these kids often have less separation anxiety. They have learned that they can trust their instincts and rhythms. They feel confident that if they should need help it is there for the asking and they presume compassion and warmth.
Putting babies in cribs and letting them “cry it out” under the guise of sleep training is a terrifying thing for infants, leaving them to feel dismissed and that they are being punished for not being ready to separate. How can a human being learn to be separate if they don’t start out with an experience first of being securely attached. We are finding out that babies who are crib-bound or left alone too early or too much eventually stop crying because they become resigned, depressed, and despondent— not because they are learning that sleep or separateness is good.
I’m not saying that babies should never be in cribs or separate from parents. But we have to carefully attend to what our children are asking for and need. Some babies are more comfortable and adaptive to separateness than other babies. What I am saying is we have to listen to them and let them lead the way. You will not ruin your child by having too much closeness with a baby who is asking for it. You will not have a child who is eternally sleepless because you didn’t sleep train them at six months.
My granddaughter is ten months old. My daughter and daughter-in-law briefly toyed with the idea of sleep training, but when they really observed their daughter they saw, heard, and felt her need for closeness with them. Some babies will sleep through the night sooner and others later, but they will all learn eventually. The question is how will they learn? Will they learn to soothe themselves because you have shown them how, by being soothing? Will they associate sleep with the love of mommy’s smell, touch, heartbeat and loving expression? Will this first learning experience set them up positively for voicing their interests, needs, and curiosity later in life, putting them on track for being lifelong lovers of learning?
I hope you can put up with the first year or two or maybe even three of your baby’s possibly extreme neediness. It really is a flaw in our design that we aren’t marsupials and don’t have pouches where we could keep our babies close until they were ready to hop away on their own. But since we don’t, we need to use our ability to be imaginative and think it all the way through. We need to consider how very much our babies need us and then listen to them and be mindful of their cues. It’s got to be quite a shock to come into awarenesses in-utero and have everything handled for us: feeding, hydration, waste, oxygen; and then suddenly be pushed into an external world where we immediately have to take over all those functions instinctively outside.
We need to give our babies a lot of credit for their capacity to begin life as “outside” babies. To ease the shock of the transition a great deal of bodily contact with us is profoundly helpful. By keeping them close to us we are encouraging them to find their rhythms for feeding, playing, quiet time, and sleeping. We are the adults, and it's up to us to be resilient, strong, and loving if we want our children to evolve into secure loving well adjusted human beings. Let’s let them lead for this little while as babies. Soon enough they will have to do much of what everyone else asks and expects of them.
For this beginning time, when you are exhausted and bleary eyed, look at your beautiful baby and allow yourself to experience the miracle that they are. They are here and in your life as infants for such a fleeting moment, and they really want and need you right now. File this time away in your memory, so when they are teenagers and want you out of their rooms, out of their lives, except to please drive them to the mall NOW…you can refer back to this time and remember that you did have the closeness and bonding when they were little. Because you had good bonding during their infancy and toddler years YOU will be able to bear their need later to really separate and launch as adults.Then they really will need you to give them space and room in their “cribs.” And remember, they will come back, especially when they have been graciously and lovingly afforded the bonding they needed in the earliest months and years.
Cinnamon-Honey-Apple Stuffed Egg Challah
This challah has been a staple in our home for the Jewish High Holidays since I was a baby. Over the years I have stayed up late with mom baking this bread with her to ensure it’s timeliness for dinner. This year was a special treat as it was my first time making it on my own. May this sweet and wonderful recipe bring you and your family full, happy tummies!
This challah has been a staple in our home for the Jewish High Holidays since I was a baby. Over the years I have stayed up late with mom baking this bread with her to ensure it’s timeliness for dinner. This year was a special treat as it was my first time making it on my own. May this sweet and wonderful recipe bring you and your family full, happy tummies!
INGREDIENTS
1 package active dry yeast
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup warm water (100°F to 115°F)
4 to 5 cups flour
6 egg yolks
1/4 cup safflower or vegetable oil
4 tablespoons unsalted butter or margarine, melted
Apple Filling (recipe follows)
1 egg yolk beaten with 1 teaspoon water
Cinnamon Sugar
INGREDIENTS
4 large apples, peeled, cored, and diced
Juice of 1 large lemon
4 tablespoons honey
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Makes 1 Challah
In the bowl of an electric mixer, blend together the yeast, sugar, salt, warm water, and 2 cups of the flour, Blend in the egg yolks and oil. Add the remaining flour, 1 cup at a time, blending after each addition, until the dough is thick enough to word by hand. Gather the dough into a ball. Place it on a floured board and knead 5 to 10 minutes, adding additional flour, until the dough is smooth and elastic. Shape the dough into a ball and place it in an oiled bowl, and oil the top. Cover with a towel and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 and 1/2 hours.
Punch down the dough and divide into 3 parts. Roll each part into a rectangle. Brush with melted butter and top with the apple filling. Roll each rectangle into a long rope. Seal the ends of the rope together and braid. Place it on an oiled baking sheet. Cover with a towel and let rise in a warm place for 45 minutes, or until doubled in size.
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Brush with egg yolk wash, then sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool on a rack.
Apple Filling
In a bowl, combine the apples, lemon juice, honey, and cinnamon. Cover with plastic wrap and chill. Drain thoroughly and use for the challah filling.
'Tis The Season: Time for Holiday Cards
Aside from the pumpkin spice lattes, the 31 Nights of Halloween movies on TV, and sweater weather creeping in, another fall favorite for my family, or me rather, is prepping for, creating, and ordering our holiday cards. This year, we are super excited to be using Basic Invite for our personalized holiday cards.
Aside from the pumpkin spice lattes, the 31 Nights of Halloween movies on TV, and sweater weather creeping in, another fall favorite for my family, or me rather, is prepping for, creating, and ordering our holiday cards. It was one of the small and silly things I always had been looking forward to most once I was married. Well, 3+ years in, and we have used a few different resources. This year? Well, this year, we are super excited to be using Basic Invite for our personalized holiday cards.
Unlike the other platforms we have used in the past, Basic Invite has unlimited colors (almost!). Really! It’s one of the few sites that allows its users with 180+ color options with an instant online preview.
In addition to the plethora of color options and designs, Basic Invite also provides custom samples of the finalized card before placing an order.
Once you have crossed your T’s and dotted your I’s, your card is done. Almost. Basic Invite has more than 40 different envelope colors to choose from, ensuring a beautiful, seamless match to your card. The best part? Their envelopes are peel and seal so no more wet sponge hacks or paper cuts on your tongue!
For me, my least favorite part of sending out holiday cards is addressing each one. Basic Invite offers an address capturing service that allows you to share a link on your social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) to request friends and family’s addresses. The addresses are then stored in your customer account and can be selected during the design process. What’s more? All of this plus printing at no additional cost.
For some festive fun additions, you can add foil to your cards in gold, silver, and rose gold in either flat or raised foil.
We are so excited to be working with Basic Invite this holiday season and can’t wait to debut our cards with you in a few weeks. Stay tuned for our reveal and in the meantime, get to shopping. Right now Basic Invite is offering 15% off your order with coupon code: 15FF51. If you use Basic Invite, be sure to share your cards with us, too! We’d love to see what you create with your family.
Want to learn more about Basic Invite or find some inspiration for your own holiday cards or holiday party invitation? Check them out on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter.
Sunday + Baby + Art Project
We chose a non-toxic, water-based paint and had some fun with our babe today in the hot, summer sun.
Brit has wanted to do this specific art project since before Thea was even born. We spent time researching edible, non-toxic, water-based paints to use and found the best solution…make the paint at home with food-grade materials.
Interested in making your own? Here’s how:
Ingredients
4 tablespoons of corn flour (corn starch)
Cold water
1 cup of boiling water
Liquid food coloring
Tips
If the mixture has harden from being in the fridge, adding a little bit of boiling hot water or leave the paint our for a few hours will return to its smooth consistency.
Steps
In a medium saucepan, mix the cornflour with enough cold water to make a paste. (Not too runny).
Pour in 1 cup of boiling water and stir thoroughly so there are no lumps.
Turn on medium heat on the stove and mix. The mixture will start to change and you will notice some clear streaks forming in the mixture. Once you see this, turn off the heat and continue stirring. It will start to thicken and turn into a wonderful, custard-like consistency.
Spoon equal amounts into empty jars, cups or containers and add food coloring. Mixing until completely combined. For each color, check out this awesome color chart on getting the shade/brightness/hue you are looking for.
Store in the fridge covered with cling wrap for up to 2 weeks. This paint recipe does not have any preservative in it, so it is important to check that the paint has not expired before giving it to children.
Oh, and the super adorable tin that we will be reusing for a milk bath impromptu photo shoot in the future? We bought it at Walmart. It’s considered a seasonal item so get it while it’s hot!
4th of July Family Photo Session
As we do every year, we went to Zion National Park for the 4th of July. This was Thea’s first time as an outside baby and Sydney grabbed her iPhone Xs … Here are a few of my favorites snaps that she took…
As we do every year, we went to Zion National Park for the 4th of July. Sydney has been going for 18 summers and I’ve been joining her for the past 10. This was Thea’s first time as an outside baby and Sydney grabbed her iPhone Xs, which has an amazing camera on it (better than my iPhone X camera). So here are a few of my favorites snaps that she took:
Our 4th of July Zion National Park Trip Turned into a BioFest
Every year we go to Springdale, Utah, where you can find Zion National Park, with Sydney’s entire extended family for a big, fun-filled week of hiking, pool time and lots of yummy food.
Every year we go to Springdale, Utah, where you can find Zion National Park, with Sydney’s entire extended family for a big, fun-filled week of hiking, pool time and lots of yummy food. We stay outside the park at an amazing hotel called The Desert Pearl Inn. The rooms are right on the bank of the Virgin River and their service is top notch. I highly recommend them if you ever plan a trip to Zion.
After this amazing year where Sydney found out she has 6 half brothers and sisters—if you don’t know what I’m talking about, please go read 6 New Siblings in Less Than a Year before continuing this—we invited everyone to join us for this year’s annual trip, in what turned into, what we dubbed as, BioFest. We even had swag.
We had siblings from as close as Phoenix and as far as Toronto. For some, it was the first time they were meeting. The connection was incredible to witness. These people were all strangers last year and after a few months of constant texting and a few Facebook friend requests, they were family.
We spent most days in our bathing suits lounging by the pool, sharing stories of everyone’s first moments of opening their 23&Me kit results, how first conversations with certain siblings went, and comparing one sibling’s likes and dislikes with another’s. In the evening, we’d go out to dinner, get ice cream, and then head back to our river side rooms and play corn hole, drink beers, take selfies, and pass baby Thea around, who is our very own second generation donor baby.
Saying goodbye was hard after such an amazing week, and, we hope to get together again in October in New York for Max’s wedding. Until then, here are some pictures from our trip:
Amber Teething Necklace
We all know teething sucks for all parties involved in a babies life. Whether you have kids or not, we can all agree that teething’s a bitch. Or is it…?
We all know teething sucks for all parties involved in a babies life: the baby, the parents, fellow patrons dining at the same restaurant with said baby, grandparents, outings with friends with (again) said baby…you get the idea. Apparently, they say that teething is the worst pain anyone can go through and that if we as adults had to teethe, we wouldn’t survive. I’m not sure who “they” are but seems about right. Regardless, we all can agree, whether you have kids or not, teething’s a bitch.
Or is it…?
One of the best gifts we received for our baby shower was from my sister-on-law. Inside a bag full of amazing goodies we opened a Lolly Llama Amber Teething Necklace. What we quickly came to learn is that her two girls wore these necklaces very early on in life and rarely, if ever, complained or cried about teething pains.
We were definitely hesitant at first. As new mamas we didn’t know how to feel about the mystical baltic amber or how to feel about putting a necklace around our new baby’s neck. Here is what we have come to know and realize: it works! It’s really that simple. I don’t know if it is voodoo magic or merely the placebo affect, but we notice a drastic difference with Thea when she wears the necklace versus doesn’t wear the necklace.
So what exactly is a teething necklace? And what’s the science behind why it works? Amber has been thought to have healing and health benefits for thousands of years. Amber contains succinic acid which is what provides the amber with healing, immunity enhancing, anti-inflammatory, stress and pain relief properties. When babies wear the necklace, the natural heat from their bodies release the succinic acid which is then released into their bloodstream.
P.S. We waited until she could hold her head up on her own and had full control over her neck before we let her wear the necklace, which was around 3 or 4 months.
P.P.S. Also, for safety reasons, Lolly Llama’s baby necklaces are 12" in length specifically so that they wont fit in the baby's mouth.
P.P.P.S. Lolly Llama also has amber bracelets for little one’s too.
6 Questions We Are Asked All The Time
We get asked all sorts of questions — and sometimes assumptions are made — so we thought we’d provide a list of the most popular ones we’ve been asked as a lesbian couple with a child. Ready? Here we go…
We get asked all sorts of questions — and sometimes assumptions are made — so we thought we’d provide a list of the most popular ones we’ve been asked as a lesbian couple with a child. Ready? Here we go…
Question (Directed to either Brit or me): Are you her sister?
Answer: No, no she is not. We are wives. Not sister wives. Not she’s-my-best-friend-and-we-pretend-to-be-wives. We are just your ordinary married couple. It’s as simple as that.
Tip: Instead of assuming our relationship, either don’t ask at all, or, ask it as an open ended question, without assuming how we are related.
Q (Directed to one of us about Thea): Who’s her dad?
A: She doesn’t have a dad. She has two mommies. Sydney is ‘Mama’ and Brit is ‘Eema’ (which is mom in Hebrew).
T: Although we don’t take offense to this question, it may trigger other same-sex couples with child(ren) or other families with a single parent. Just some food for thought…
Q: How did you pick your donor?
A: We actually love this question because it really was the very first thing we did after we both agreed it was time to start our family. And it’s a good story. First, we both agreed to use the California Cryobank as it is one of the most reputable sperm banks in the country and we are lucky enough to live driving distance away from it. When we first started looking for our donor, Sydney took it upon herself to start the search. She logged into our account daily, for months. It was impossible for her to choose. There are so many options and choices. It’s sort of like shopping online at a department store. You can narrow down your search of a donor by height, eye color, hair color, blood type, education level, religion, etc. The list really does go on. When Sydney became frustrated with having to finally solidify her choice, Brit stepped in. Brit narrowed down the search by height (6’ or taller), eye color (we chose hazel), has Jewish Ancestry, and by blood type (O+ or B+ to match with one of us in case our children ever needed medical treatment). This resulted in 3 possible donor matches. Narrowing it down from there was actually fairly easy. We compared their medical histories and chose the one that was the best fit for us.
Q: What information do you have on your donor?
A: A lot! We were given three baby/childhood photos of him (no adult images are ever provided to help with keeping their anonymity). We have their medical history along with his parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles medical histories. We have SAT scores, genetic test summary, a donor profile, hobbies and interests, a fun questionnaire, and a few other gems.
Q: How does it work? How do you buy sperm?
A: Another good question…as we too had to learn as we went. Each vial of sperm equals one try (either for insemination or IVF). And each vial ranges in price based on how the donor is classified: either open, anonymous, or closed. An open donor means that when the child turns 18 they are already a yes to meeting the child if the child so wishes. An anonymous donor means that the Cryobank will attempt to reach the donor up to two times and at that time, the donor can choose whether or not they want to meet or speak with the child. A closed donor means they are not open to speaking or meeting. The cost ranges from $855 - $995. So you are essentially looking at $1,000 per vial (with taxes and fees). Once you select the donor you want, you are able to purchase directly online how ever many vials you want. One thing that was important to us was to be able to use the same donor for all of our children as to minimize the amount of shared DNA among them. We were told that, on average, it can take up to 4 tries through insemination to get pregnant. So ideally, you want to buy 4 times the amount of children you THINK you want to have. For us, that meant 16 vials, or $16,000! Yikes! We decided that we would start with 10 instead and hope that’s all we need. We were given 3 years of free storage for the vials with the purchase of 10 vials and, luckily, we got pregnant with one try. This isn’t the norm, and we are so grateful to and for our doctor for his aim!
Q: What’s the difference between IUI (intrauterine insemination) and IVF (in vitro fertilization)? Can you do this at home?
A: Intrauterine insemination, (also referred to as insemination or IUI) is essentially the turkey baster method but with a fertility specialist in a doctors office. They use a special instrument that goes through the woman’s cervix and releases the sperm. This gives those little swimmers a bit more of a push closer to finding that egg. In vitro (or IVF) is a medical procedure. After tracking ovulation and taking some serious and expensive medications, often involving daily injections, which produce the release of many eggs. The woman is put under and all the eggs are collected. Afterwards, the doctor uses petri dishes to introduce the eggs to sperm. Usually 50% of the sperm and egg couples will form an embryo. From there, a follow up appointment is made where the embryos are transferred back into the woman. The other big factor and difference between IUI and iVF? The cost! For us, our entire IUI treatment, including the medication I had to be on, the one vial of sperm, and all the doctor checkups leading up to my insemination, cost around $4,000. For us to do IVF, would have cost us nearly $50,000. We realized that we could do 12 IUI rounds for the cost of 1 IVF. And since IVF isn’t a 100% guarantee and it involves a serious medical procedure, the answer was pretty easy for us. As for trying at home? It is definitely possible and doable. However, in order to really have any kind of hope or success from tying at home, the sperm needs to be fresh — not from a sperm bank. This method works well for couples who are comfortable asking a friend to “donate” in the moment. Using frozen sperm that is then thawed often reduced the motility of the sperm and wont often make it pass the cervix (which is why IUI is so important and more accurate).
Well, that just about covers the top questions we are asked. If there is anything that you want more clarity on, have further questions about, or you’d like to know more, let us know in the comments. We are open books and are happy to share. We believe that visibility matters.
Our Story: The Last 10 Years
It all began a year ago this week. I don’t really know what he said. How could I? I had just found out the very thing I have wanted to find out. But let’s start at beginning. I hear it’s a good place to start.
It all began a year ago this week. My cell phone rang on March 28, 2018 at 4:42 pm from 'No Caller ID' -- it was my doctor. "Well, Sydney, it worked. Congratulations…your HCG levels look great." Or at least I think that’s what he said. My mind went blank. After hearing “Congratulations” I don’t really know what he said. How could I? I had just found out the very thing I have wanted to find out. I was pregnant. It had worked.
But let’s start at beginning. I hear it’s a good place to start.
My wife and I met in high school. It wasn’t love at first sight, or even attraction at first site. In fact, I wasn’t even into women. We had become friends our senior year, eventually travelling to Israel together on a gap year program, and both ending up at the same college. After some time spent together, curiosity struck. That’s all it took. We started dating and we instantly knew that this was it -- we’d be each other’s last first kiss.
Time flew by. 1 year turned into 7; we moved in with each other; adopted a dog; and started a company. Then, during Valentine’s Day Weekend of 2015 we proposed to each other. That next year came and went as we planned our dream wedding. It was everything we had wanted to be, as our Rabbi and Cantor married us in our temple that I had grown up in, surrounded by our family and close friends. In addition to a couple of traditional registry items, like fine China and a blender, we asked that people instead give money to what we called our Future Family Fund. We shared that the money would be put away into a savings account until we were ready to start our family.
In January of 2017, we began our next chapter into the journey of parenthood. We met with a few fertility specialists so we could become better educated and equipped at making the best choices for our family: we considered costs, weighed the pros and cons of IUI and IVF, planned, searched for the right donor, the list goes on. It was a trying time for the two of us and we hadn’t even started trying to get pregnant. But by the end of 2017, we had our plan. We chose our doctor, bought a dozen vials of sperm (as we wanted to ensure the same donor for all of our future children), and decided that we’d start trying by my February/March cycle.
I went to my first appointment when I was on Day 4 of my menstrual cycle so my doctor can perform an exam to ensure everything looked good. From there, I would have another 4 check up appoints to track my egg growth, take Clomid, pee on 7 ovulation test strips, pick up the vial of sperm from the Cryobank, and be given an injection of HCG. All of this occurred within 13 days.
On day 12 of this journey, I was given the HCG shot. Brit had come with me to every single appointment. And as a side note, our doctor was about an hour away from where we lived — that’s 2 hours in the car, there and back, for a 30 minute check up. So when it was time to take the shot, I knew I would have to go back in the next day. Brit had already put so many things on hold, and I think we both thought it wouldn’t really work the first time anyways, that we were both comfortable and okay with my mom taking me to my insemination appointment. So that night, after my shot, Brit and I went home and had a romantic evening with each other, wine and all.
The morning of March 12th had arrived. I was jittery and anxious — two things everyone tells you not be when trying to conceive. My mom picked me up from my condo and drove me to my appointment. As we waited in the waiting room to be seen, I counted 40 weeks from my first day of my last period. December 1st. My thoughts were interrupted. “Sydney,” a nurse said at the door separating the waiting room to the rest of the medical offices. My mom and I took a deep breath, gathered our belongings, and headed back. “Take your pants and underwear off and put this blanket over you. The doctor will be with you shortly.” As I lay half naked on the medical table, waiting, all I could hear was my heartbeat. I didn’t know what to think. It felt like hours had passed until the doctor finally came in. He shook my moms hands, he asked me how I was feeling, and then said, “It’s time.”
The actual IUI procedure was easy and painless. The doctor inserts a teeny tiny flexible syringe-like tool through my cervix and released the sperm. That was it. It was done. I got dressed, paid for the services, and went out to dinner with my mom.
The next set of instructions I was given before I had left the doctors office was to NOT take a pregnancy test. Pregnancy tests are not 100% accurate and they didn’t want me to experience a false positive … or a false negative. That’s the type of stress that should be kept at bay. Instead, I was supposed to carry on with my days, as worry-free as possible, until 16 days post IUI. On day 15, March 27th, I called the doctor’s office. “Hi, it’s Sydney. I was just inseminated a couple of weeks ago and was told to call if ‘IT’ hasn’t arrived. I know I probably sound crazy, but I don’t want to say ‘IT’ in case ‘IT’ does come in the next 24 hours. I don’t want to jinx myself. Anyways, tomorrow is day 16 and I haven’t taken a pregnancy test.” The woman at the other end of the phone laughed in a sympathetic and empathetic way and reassured me. “Of course, Sydney. Let’s have you come in tomorrow.”
March 28, 2018. A day I will never forget. I went to the doctor’s alone. I told Brit that it was silly for her to miss work when this particular appointment was just for a blood draw. I went in, they drew my blood, they wished me luck, and told me that one of the nurses or the doctor would call when the results were in. I went home, cuddled with my puppy and watched TV. Hours went by. The phone rang. It was the doctor’s office. At the other end of the line, I heard my doctor’s voice. "Well, Sydney, it worked. Congratulations…your HCG levels look great." (Or something to that affect.) Needless to say, I was indeed pregnant.
I went on to have a healthy pregnancy. The weeks came and went – all 40 of them. In fact, December 1st began like any other day. Granted this was the estimated due date all my doctors gave me, so I was a bit more excited that I had reached a full 40 weeks. Otherwise, my mom had gone to her annual eye doctor appointment and my dad and wife left for the office for their monthly philanthropic clinic. I had woken up around 8 am with the family to see them off. Once they had left I went back to bed. Being 40 weeks pregnant, getting crappy sleep, and the pending arrival of our baby girl looming, I was exhausted. Around 11:30 am I woke up suddenly with an immediate urge to poop — to the extent that I thought if I didn’t run to the bathroom, I’d have an accident in bed. So I made my way to the bathroom, peed, and went back to bed. Minutes later I woke up again. “Wait! I am 29 years old. I won’t poop my pants. That’s ridiculous.”
At this point, I texted one of my friends who had just given birth 8 weeks prior, “What do contractions feel like?” After a quick texting conversation, I decided I was in early labor, but wanted to be sure. I started timing the contractions, made a snack, took a shower, napped, and went for a walk. Sure enough, my contractions kept coming, closer and stronger. It was now 1 pm and it was time to call my mom. I didn’t want to bother her earlier as I knew her appointment would be over soon anyways, and I definitely didn’t want to bother my wife because I didn’t want her to panic that I was home alone. “I think it’s time. I think I’m in labor.
Within an hour, my wife, mom, aunt, and mother-in-law were all back at home with me. It was all very exciting and equally nerve-racking. My contractions were lasting about 45 seconds and were happening every 9 minutes. It was nearly 3 pm and I was officially in active labor. I was desperate to be in water. Our birthing tub hadn’t yet been set up so I went into our Jacuzzi, butt naked, with my mom. By this point, my dad and another aunt had shown up. While talking in between contractions and relaxing during them, Brit had decided to call our midwife, Leslie, just to inform her that I was in labor. “Sydney’s contractions are 6 minutes apart, lasting over a minute,” Brit told Leslie. When the phone call ended, we noticed the water in the hot tub became murky. My water had broken. It was time to move to another location to continue my labor. So into my parent’s bed I went. It wasn’t planned that way. But in the moment, all I wanted was to feel safe, and there is no place greater than my parent’s bed. So my caravan of a team helped me out of the water, dried me off, and walked me upstairs.
By this point our dear family friend and shiatsu massage therapist, Steve, and our photographer/videographer, Rebecca, had arrived. During our birthing classes, we had learned about back labor. My mom had it with all three of us kids and the best solution is counter pressure. When I had initially asked Steve to be apart of my birth team, he was more than willing and happy to be my counter pressure expert. And thank goodness for that. Between my back labor and rectal pressure, I needed every ounce of natural relief I could get. Steve’s job was to apply as much pressure as possible to my lower back, while my mom’s job was to make sure I stayed relaxed through deep breathing and guided imagery. I labored on the bed. And on the toilet. And on a yoga ball. My contractions were on top of each other lasting about 1 minute and 40 seconds. All of a sudden I threw up and had the chills. I had started moaning, or what was later described to me as my birthing song. I was in transition. And still no midwife. I could feel it in my bones — I knew I was close.
By 6:30 pm, Leslie had shown up. She came right upstairs and began examining the baby’s heartbeat, my vitals, and eventually, checked to see how dilated I was. 9 centimeters. I was already at 9 centimeters. She asked me if I wanted to push. “YES!” I cried out.
The birthing tub now was set up in our living room, an appropriate room to bring more life into. I was now being helped back downstairs to push in the tub. It was just after 7 pm. The water was warm. Brit held onto me with all her love and might. After thirty minutes or so, I wasn’t making any progress getting our little girl out. The water was too high and gravity was working against me. My mom suggested to me that I try laboring and pushing outside of the tub. At this point I wanted the baby out more than I wanted a water birth. So I went out of the tub and onto the couch. My team had propped me on my side with pillows and helping hands. My mom stroked my head and continued coaching me through my pushing while my dad held onto my mom. Brit held my right leg and right hand while showering me with love as her mom held her hand. One of my aunts held my left leg to give me something to push against. My cantor played guitar while I pushed and pushed and pushed. My midwife was in the end zone.
The room was dark and warm. The fireplace was lit. The twinkle lights were on. My family gathered around me and sang songs as our little girls headed began to bulge. My midwife coached me on how to push and when to push. Brit told me the head was out and encouraged me to reach down and touch her head. I did. It gave me the extra focus I needed. The next thing I heard were the shoulders are out. Everyone is encouraging me to reach down and pull my baby out. I did.
It was 8:46 pm on December 1st. And just like that our baby girl was born. On her due date. In the comfort and warmth of our home. Surrounded by family. There she was, in all her glory. She was perfect. She lay on my body as I rubbed in her vernix while we waited for her umbilical cord to stop pulsing. Our little one came into this world fast and furious. 7 pounds 9 ounces. 20.25 inches long. 10 fingers and 10 toes.
All of this – the tears, the choices, the timing – it all had worked. And it brought my wife and I the very best gift: Thea Madison Quinn.
As first shared with LoveWhatMatters.com.
3 Years Later, Still Living Happily Ever After
Wow. Three years have come and gone in a blink of an eye. This is now the second greatest day of our life, following the birth of Thea just a few months ago. And although the details of our actual wedding day didn’t go exactly according to plan — when do they ever?! — it was still one of the greatest days — moments — of our life.
Wow. Three years have come and gone in a blink of an eye. This is now the second greatest day of our life, following the birth of Thea just a few months ago. And although the details of our actual wedding day didn’t go exactly according to plan — when do they ever?! — it was still one of the greatest days — moments — of our life.
We were married at our temple, Malibu Jewish Center & Synagogue (MJC&S), in Malibu by our Rabbi and Cantor (the same Cantor who was at our home birth and played his guitar as Thea quite literally made her way into this world). It had been an especially rainy winter and spring, much like the one we are experiencing this year in Los Angeles. In fact, it had rained 6 days prior to our wedding day, which we took to be a good luck sign. Lucky for us, the hills and grounds of our temple were full of green lush grass, the mountains in full color.
Much like we the rest of our lives, we had the best village surrounding us, putting together this epic day. We share our video with you as a reminder and break from the every day, mundane news, and as a source of hope, love, inspiration, togetherness, and family.
Our Vows
We actually got this idea from a friend of ours. For our vows, we each wrote 5 promises to each other — the only one we agreed to prior to the ceremony was ending each of our promises with same vow, “I promise to always choose you.” The rest of our vows were complete surprises to each other, and during the ceremony, we took turns reading our vows, one after the other (instead of the traditional one person after the other).
Sydney: I promise to love you forever and always, knowing you to be your best self, even when you don't see it.
Brit: I promise to be your best friend and to always listen for your commitment.
Sydney: I promise to tell you I love every morning when we wake up and before we go to sleep; to always go to bed happy and complete; and to seal each and every day with a kiss.
Brit: I promise to always know where we are or how to get to where we're going....and if not, to be the one to ask for directions.
Sydney: I promise to take turns being the little spoon and the big spoon...but mainly the little spoon.
Brit: I promise to build a Jewish home with you, teach our children where they come from and to always give when we have the means to do so.
Sydney: I promise our children will grow up in a home where they know how much their parents are in love and they know how much they are loved.
Brit: I promise to hold your hand and take you on adventures of a lifetime.
Sydney: I promise to always choose you.
Brit: I promise to always choose you.
Our Village:
Videographers: Light Up Video | Dresses: Pebbles Bridal and Winnie Couture | Flowers, Chuppah and Decor: The Exotic Green Garden | Jewelry: Sarah Leonard Jewelers and Nordstrom | Hair: Aubrey Loots Hair | Makeup: J. The MakeUp Studio | Photographer: Laurie Bailey Photography
Want to see some more? (‘Cause why wouldn’t you?) Click here to see our wedding photos.
Traveling with A Newborn
Well, here we are, our first adventure involving more than a long, 6 hour car ride up tot Mammoth. This is our first trip with Thea, whose all of 15 weeks old, and we are headed to Portland. Why Portland? Why now?
Friday, March 15
10:40 am
Well, here we are, our first adventure involving more than a long, 6 hour car ride up to Mammoth. This is our first trip with Thea, whose all of 15 weeks old, and we are headed to Portland. Why Portland? Why now?
Well, this month marks Brit and my 3 year wedding anniversary. Yay! The two of us have also wanted to take the Coast Starlight Train, a long-haul passenger train, sleeper cabin and all, from Los Angeles up north. We figured this would be the perfect opportunity to put those two things together. So we are taking the train up (29 hours) and flying back (a short 2 hour flight).
What’s more, my mom’s birthday is in a few days, so we figured that including my parents on our traveling adventures to celebrate her birthday and our anniversary would make traveling with our 3 month old a whole lot easier and have us feel a bit more comfortable when we fly for the first time with Thea.
Since we have another vacation coming up in May that is going to involve longer air travel sans the grandparents, we figured this was a good way to introduce us two new mamas to travel with a newborn.
So thank goodness for that idea. Brit and I are already exhausted, and I am writing this blog after departing the train station just 30 minutes ago. Pathetic, right? Well. I have already learned a lot, starting with that we all need to be packed days before we travel. Waiting until the night before — part of our routine pre baby — is no longer sufficient. There are simply too many things to juggle. Tip #2? Start by packing the necessities — you know, like diapers and wipes. As we pulled into the train station, Brit noticed that we had forgotten baby wipes. Oh joy!
5:30 pm
We have new developments on the traveling front, re: clothing. This is an important one, and thankfully, we are traveling during a wetter and colder winter (for us SoCal girls). Regardless if you are visiting the snow or the beach, via car, train, or plane, you should always pack an array of outfits for both warmer and cooler weather. Aside from just being prepared, here is what I learned and saw value in today.
While aboard our train today, we noticed a few hours in that our car wasn’t getting cool. At first we thought this was as good as it got. But when we went to the dining car for lunch, we noticed how much cooler it was in every other car aside from ours. Welp, that explained Thea’s fussiness. She wasn’t even in anything too warm, but we knew it’s been chilly out and would be even colder in Portland. She started out the morning in a long sleeve bodysuit, leggings, a fleece jacket, and fleece booties. After boarding the train, when it was still off, I took the booties off since it was so hot. When she woke from that nap, off came the jacket. After lunch, all that remained was a diaper. She was instantly happier, despite being hot and sweaty from the lack of A/C.
We also had some foresight early this morning, our eyes barely opened, that we should grab two blankets; one fleece and one cotton muslin, just in case. Moral of this tip? Those ‘just in case’ instances are likely to happen more than not when traveling + and with a child. The baby is now happily fast asleep in her DockATot, diaper and all.
Saturday, March 16
2:10 pm
Today was definitely less eventful, after all, we’ve been traveling with our Little One for nearly 24 hours now, so we’re pro! (JK.) What made this day different was cabin fever. We were all getting close to being pushed to our limits. The sleeper rooms, although considered ‘first class’ were maybe 64 sq. ft. in size; the hallways to pass from car to car made us all walk sideways like crabs; the food, although surprisingly edible and okay, was repetitive; and the loud speakers didn’t help with nap time.
I am only 10 days post op from my gallbladder surgery, which means Brit has been on super mommy mode. She has been taking care of Thea, Chloe (our puppy), me, and herself. To say she was/is exhausted would be a gross understatement. Then to add some leisurely travel in there while we are all squished like sardines, was the cherry on top. She has truly been my hero throughout all of this. So needless to say, we both took turns entertaining Thea, each in our own ways.
4:30 pm
To say we were happy to arrive in Portland, would have been a gross understatement. Especially since our train was behind schedule by just over an hour. It through us all for a loop. But checking in to our hotel, one of two 5-star hotels in all of Downtown Portland according to TripAdvisor, made us all feel a little bit like Eloise, checking into the top floor of the Plaza Hotel.
It was clean. It was spacious. It was luxurious. It had a shower. The bed was big enough for us all. It was exactly what we all needed after the last 30 hours of being on a train.
Sunday, March 17
A Year Ago Today: My Journey with IUI
A year ago today my mom took me to my fertility doctor for what would become the day (or close to) I became pregnant. March 12, 2018 was my insemination day.
A year ago today my mom took me to my fertility doctor for what would become the day (or close to) I became pregnant. March 12, 2018 was my insemination day. Brit and I had spent weeks gearing up for this first try with doctor visits, uterine exams, taking Clomid and a shot of HCG, peeing on sticks, the works…
At the time, it didn’t feel all that real. I was just going through the motions that my doctor had given me. I went to my first appointment when I was on Day 4 of my menstrual cycle so my doctor can perform an exam to ensure everything looked good. From there, I would have another 4 check up appoints to track my eggs growth, take Clomid (an oral medication that is used to stimulate ovulation), pee on 7 ovulation test strips, pick up the vial of sperm from the Cryobank, and be given an injection of HCG (a hormone that supports the normal development of an egg in a woman's ovary, and stimulates the release of the egg during ovulation). All of this occurred within 13 days.
On day 12 of this journey, I was given the HCG shot. As mentioned, this is supposed to help ensure the release of my egg during ovulation, which means that within 24 hours of the shot, I would need to be inseminated. Brit had come with me to every single appointment. And as a side note, our doctor was about an hour away from where we lived — that’s 2 hours in the car, there and back, for a 30 minute check up. So when it was time to take the shot, I knew I would have to go back in the next day. Brit had already put so many things on hold, and I think we both thought it wouldn’t really work the first time anyways, that we were both comfortable and okay with my mom taking me to my insemination appointment. So that night, after my shot, Brit and I went home and had a romantic evening with each other, wine and all.
The morning of March 12th had arrived. I was jittery and anxious — two things every fertility doctor and OBGYN tell you not be when trying to conceive). I did what I could to self soothe. Lots and lots of deep breaths. My mom picked me up from my condo and drove me to my appointment. As we waited in the waiting room to be seen, I counted 40 weeks from my first day of my last period (which was about 2 weeks prior). December 1st. I told my mom it had to work. If the insemination was unsuccessful and I had to wait another cycle, my due date would have been during Christmas / New Years, and my parents had already planned their winter trip — one that I knew they would obviously cancel for the birth of their first grandchild, but I like to be accommodating.
“Sydney,” a nurse said at the door separating the waiting to the rest of the medical offices. My mom and I took a deep breath, gathered our belongings, and headed back. “Take your pants and underwear off and put this blanket over you. The doctor will be with you shortly.” As I lay half naked on the medical table, waiting, all I could hear was my heartbeat. I didn’t know what to think. It felt like hours had passed until the doctor finally came in. In reality? It was 5, maybe 10 minutes, tops. He shook my moms hands, he asked me how I was feeling, and then said, “It’s time.”
The actual IUI procedure (intrauterine insemination) was easy and painless. The doctor inserts a teeny tiny flexible syringe-like tool through my cervix and releases the sperm. That’s it. Done. There is no lying on my back with my feet above my head for 30 minutes. There is no sitting period. After he was done, I got dressed, paid for the services, and went out to dinner with my mom. During dinner I began to feel some light cramping. This was normal. Not comfortable or reassuring, but normal.
The next set of instructions I was given before I had left the doctors office was to NOT take a pregnancy test. Pregnancy tests are not 100% guarantee and they didn’t want me to experience a false positive. That’s the type of stress that should be kept at bay. Instead, I was suppose to carry on with my days, as worry-free as possible, until 16 days post IUI. On day 15, March 27th, I called the doctor’s office. “Hi, it’s Sydney. I was just inseminated a couple of weeks ago and was told to call if ‘IT’ hasn’t arrived. I know I probably sound crazy, but I don’t want to say ‘IT’ in case ‘IT’ does come. I don’t want to jinx myself. Anyways, tomorrow is day 16 and I haven’t taken a pregnancy test.” The woman at the other end of the phone laughed (in a sympathetic, I know what you are going through kind of way) and reassured me. “Of course, Sydney. Let’s have you come in tomorrow.”
March 28, 2018. A day I will never forget. I went to the doctor’s alone. I told Brit that it was silly for her to miss work when this particular appointment was just for a blood draw. I wouldn’t hear anything about my results for at least a day. I had fibbed. I knew I would hear back that same day, but felt like I needed to do this part on my own. I went in, they drew my blood, they wished me luck, and told me that one of the nurses or the doctor would call when the results were in. The best way to know if you’re pregnant is through a blood test. It’s taken 16 days past ovulation, or for me, after my IUI. Once those results are in, if HCG levels are high, odds are, you’re pregnant. To confirm, the same blood test is done two days later. If the levels have at least doubled, a pregnancy is confirmed.
After my blood draw, I went home, cuddled with my puppy and watched TV. Hours went by. The phone rang. It was the doctors office. At the other end of the line, I heard my doctor’s voice. I had made up that if one of the nurses called, it meant I was pregnant, as they wouldn’t have the nurse call with bad news. So if the doctor called, he’d be the one to break the news softly. “Congratulations, Sydney. You’re pregnant.” I just about passed out. I can’t tell you, to this day, what he said after that. We allegedly spoke for 3 minutes, but I don’t remember what he said. By the end of the call I had made a follow up appointment for 48 hours later to ensure that my numbers doubled. SPOILER ALERT. They did!
This process took about a month. From getting my period to my first check up with the doctor, from medications and an injection, to that actual insemination and confirmation, it had taken 33 days from start to finish, and it ended in a healthy, beautiful, wonderful baby girl. But we will get into my pregnancy, who and how we told our family and friends in another post. For now, this post, I want preserved for that moment in time when Brit and I conceived.
Our journey is blessed and special. We were fortunate and lucky enough to have the best support team, both medically and with our family, and to have been successful on one try. Even now, with Thea being here, with us, this all still feels like a dream.
Our Baby is A L'oved Baby
We hadn’t discovered L’ovedbaby until Thea was 5 weeks old. It’s sad, really, because we missed out on dressing her in what would soon become her go-to wardrobe. Now, this may seem like a silly post, as it’s about clothes, but it’s really so much more than that.
We hadn’t discovered L’ovedbaby until Thea was 5 weeks old. It’s sad, really, because we missed out on dressing her in what would soon become her go-to wardrobe. Now, this may seem like a silly post, as it’s about clothes, but it’s really so much more than that.
First, it’s a small woman-owned business and is headquartered in our neck of the woods. Second, and perhaps more importantly, it was created and built on a foundation of safety and health, and in honor of the owner’s mother when she was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer has touched us all in one way or another. I am fortunate to still have my mom, who is now 17+ years cancer-free. All of L’ovedbaby’s products are “safe, minimally-processed, 100% cotton garments. That mean[s] no harsh added chemicals, no dangerous flame retardants, and the use of safe and gentle dyes.”
As a first time mom, product safety was my number one priority when it came to what was touching my baby’s body. I also appreciated their customer service — a quality, regardless of being a parent, is always a welcomed attribute.
Lastly, my daughter hates, and I mean hates, when I put clothes on over her head. L’ovedbaby’s onesies and kimono bodysuits are so yummy and delicious, and in involved zero over-the-head nonsense. Their leggings are also to die for…So needless to say, I am a huge fan of this company’s mission coupled with their basic yet trendy and cute unisex clothes. Oh! I almost forgot to mention…Their footed overalls? They cinch at the ankle making the onesie stay fitted around your little one. Pure genius.
6 New Siblings in Less Than a Year
Yep. You read that right. In the last 10 months, I discovered that I have 6 new siblings (and probably counting). I should start from the beginning…
Yep. You read that right. In the last 10 months, I discovered that I have 6 new siblings (and probably counting). I should start from the beginning…
The weekend Brit and I shared our news about being pregnant was Mother’s Day weekend in 2018. It seemed fitting considering the following year, Brit and I would both be new mommies. Meanwhile, my dad had done a DNA testing kit through 23andMe.com to find out more about where his family had come from. What he found was anything but ordinary. His DNA told him what he already knew — he’s an Ashkenazi Jew from Eastern Europe. After that, he turned off his alert settings as he was being notified every other day on a new relative connection that was 4 times removed. We’re Jewish after all, so we’re always related and connected to someone.
What we didn’t know? My dad had been a sperm donor nearly 35 years prior while in med school. My parents were dating at the time, so my mom knew, and somewhere in the back of their heads, I guess considered that one day “bio kids” may be out there. But considering this was done back in the early 80s, the idea of technology, social media, and DNA kits like 23andMe or Ancestry.com were unheard of.
That very same weekend my dad received a phone call from my aunt. “Sit down,” she said. “I think you have another son…” After catching his breath, he logged back into his 23andMe account, and sure enough, under DNA Relatives, were two perfect matches, indicating a son and daughter. After speaking with them both, he learned there was another daughter (she had done Ancestry.com and connected with a sister there).
Anyways, to make a long, twisting, complicated, fun, surprising, awesome story sweet and short, we slowly started to discover what my parents refer to as their “bio kids.” There wasn’t even a split moment where my mom, brothers, wife, or I thought about not including them and integrating them into our lives. For whatever reason, we already loved them. We wanted to get to know them. We wanted that instant bond and connection.
Personally, I have lost track of how many times I had begged my parents for an older brother or sister. Perhaps I willed them all into existence? Whatever the reason, we were so excited. Then to add an even juicier and yummier layer, Brit pointed out that our soon-to-be daughter would be born into a family with Aunts and Uncles just like her. Being a sperm donor baby was how our family grew. It wouldn’t be strange or foreign. It would just be normal. And for those potential tough days that may lie ahead for her, she has that extra comfort of confiding in her Aunts and Uncles.
Fast forward to yesterday, and I mean yesterday, the latest “newly found sibling” or “bio sib” (that’s what all us kiddos call each other) surfaced. And just to tally it all up, I now have 4 brothers and 4 sisters (and 3 adorable, sweet, and smart neices).
To date, half of us have all met in person. By the end of summer, I will have met all in person. How cool is that? In fact, during my family’s annual 4th of July trip to Zion National Park, most of the newly found sibs are trekking out there for us all to spend the week together. Although not everyone can make it, it’s pretty spectacular that most can. Talk about a family reunion!!
We’d love the chance for us all to be under the same roof at the same time, so if anyone has any connections to Ellen Degeneres, let her know that we’d love to all meet her and each other. She’d be one helluva host.
Being Gay and Jewish
Before I was gay, I was Jewish. And when I realized I was gay, I thought I had to choose between being Jewish and being gay.
Before I was gay, I was Jewish.
I have always loved being Jewish and personally felt like I had a special relationship with “God.” I never really thought of God as a man or a woman, just a voice in my head that I could talk to when I needed someone. A force out there that encouraged me to make the right choices.
When I realized I was gay, I thought I had to choose between being Jewish and being gay. I was raised in the Chabad sect of Judaism — for unfamiliar readers, it’s an orthodox sect — and you weren’t “allowed” to be gay in Chabad. And as a child, I didn’t know there were other forms of Judaism. So I was faced with quite a conflict.
When I came out to myself, I left the synagogue I had grown up in and joined the neighboring Reformed synagogue — literally across the street — where I knew some kids from high school went.
After high school I moved to Israel and that was when I saw what being gay and Jewish really looked like. Tel Aviv is continuously ranked the gayest city in the world, and while living there, I was able to meet new people, explore my religion, and realize exactly who I was. For the first time in my life I wasn’t under the watchful eye of my parents and I had the opportunity to be an out-of-the-closet version of myself. I was never in the closet again and I fell deeper in love with being Jewish while living in Israel.
Now, at 29, I find myself living my most authentic life. I’m happily married to my wife —who is also Jewish and began dating while living in Israel. And, we joyously welcomed our first child into the world only two months ago, making me feel even more connected to my religion than ever.
My wife Sydney and I are members of a Reconstructionist synagogue in Malibu, Malibu Jewish Center and Synagogue (MJC&S), which, for the first 9 years of our relationship, was led by our female rabbi, our gay cantor, and with members from all parts of the LGBT family. It’s where we were married and where we plan on raising our family. One of our favorite things about MJC&S are the Shabbat on the Beach events during the summer.
I’m also involved in a organization called JQ International, that fosters gay and Jewish identities so people never feel like they need to choose between their religion and being gay. Some of my favorite things JQ International offers are Shebrew Shabbats, Pride Shabbats (which kicks off Pride month), and an overall opportunity to connect and build friendships with other gay Jews in Los Angeles.
Had someone told me 10 years ago this would be my life, I would have never believed them.
Our Birthing Video
The best choice we had made while I was pregnant was finding the way to save and budget to hire a birthing photographer and videographer. Lucky for us, we found Rebecca who really does it all.
The best choice we had made while I was pregnant was finding the way to save and budget to hire a birthing photographer and videographer. Lucky for us, we found Rebecca who really does it all. She is a one woman show who is able to take photos and videos on her camera and is also certified as a doula, something we found to be invaluable. To top it all off, our parents gifted us half of her services, allowing us to actually make this dream happen.
There is only so much you can possibly remember when looking back on your birthing journey — partner, parents, midwives included. But having it captured in a video really gives you a birds eye view on what happened, how it happened, and shares the story so deeply and intimately.
My mom was my doula and birthing coach. She has been gearing me up for my labor since I was a baby, teaching me to self soothe and find my “place” for deep relaxation. For me? It’s the 100-Acre Woods, laying in a field with Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh. My mom also happens to be trained in a childbirth education program, The Bradley Method. Bradley really focuses on natural births through deep relaxation — a perfect fit for us! Needless to say, I couldn’t have asked for a better coach — someone whose known me since I was in utero, who loves me unconditionally, and knows my temperament inside and out.
Here is my birthing story, as told through the lens of Rebecca.
Our Labor and Delivery Shoot
It may seem obvious, but we’d like you to be forewarned that this post contains explicit images of birth. This means you will see nudity, from head to toe, stretch marks, placenta and all.
It may seem obvious, but we’d like you to be forewarned that this post contains explicit images of birth. This means you will see nudity, from head to toe, stretch marks, placenta and all.
I am proud of what my body accomplished. It served as our baby girl’s first home, as she grew from the size of a poppy seed to that of a watermelon. The day of her birth came and went so quickly. Thea and I worked together, as I used each contraction as a reminder that we were that much closer to meeting, and as she descended quickly and vigorously, knowing she too, would be meeting us soon.
If you read our previous post, you will know that we had over a dozen people in our home as I labored, pushed, and welcomed Thea into this world. We were surrounded by family and friends, warmth and song.
The greatest gift Brit and I gave each other going into our birth plan was having it captured. Receiving the photos 3 months later has proved to be an even greater gift as it’s the perfect walk down memory lane. I was so focused that I couldn’t have known what else was going on around me.
And for those of you in the Los Angeles area, whether you’re planning to deliver at home, birthing center, or hospital, please consider Rebecca Coursey — there is no other woman greater. She’s not only a photographer and videographer, but a doula. Having her energy, spirit, talent, and warmth is a gift that is indescribable.
As we anxiously await our video, we are so excited and happy to share the photos that were captured by Rebecca.
